WARNING! This article is laden with spoilers. If you don’t want to see them don’t scroll past the Mrs Hudson buffer…
Now, let’s proceed with the barrage of emotions levelled at Sherlock fans across the land during last night’s season three finale…
Who’s this guy? This Magnussen? Another baddie. A blackmailing baddie. What’s his story?
WHY IS THIS MAGNUSSEN GUY LICKING THAT WOMAN’S FACE?
Is he on us? We feel like he’s on us.
3. YES! Do it!
Lady Elizabeth Smallwood – the woman who had her face licked by the blackmailer Magnussen – realises that Sherlock Holmes is her only hope, and heads for Baker Street.
4. Bu…bu… they’re best friends
Back at the Watson’s flat John reveals he hasn’t seen Sherlock since the wedding. So many feels.
5. Do… do we fancy John?
Watson decides to head to a crack den to try to track down a neighbour’s son, and Mary tells him he’s a “tiny bit sexy”.
There’s Sherlock! Lying in that bed in that crack den! Wearing a tracksuit!
John insists that he take Sherlock and the gang to see Molly for a check up.
Mollzer lays not one, not two, but THREE slaps on Sherlock’s face after testing his widdle for drugs and disease.
Psst it’s ok though, they’re still friends:
Back at Baker Street, Sherlock’s brother Mycroft warns the gang against any mention of Charles Augustus Magnussen, and alludes to the detective’s past drug problems.
Sherlock loses the head, pins Mycroft against the door, and kicks him out.
9. More confusion
What IS the story with this Magnussen guy? Why is everyone so afraid of him?
Sherlock has a girlfriend? Irish Janine from the wedding is Sherlock’s girlfriend? She’s been sleeping in Sherlock’s bed and taking baths with Sherlock and is kissing him in front of John?
John’s face summed it all up:
11. More disgust
Magnussen turns up at Sherlock’s house and pisses in his fireplaces.
So far we know:
- He’s a master of blackmail
- He licks faces
- He pisses in fireplaces
12. And yet more confusion
Magnussen name drops Redbeard again. Who is this Redbeard? And what does he mean to Sherlock?
13. OH NO HE DIDN’T!
Sherlock announces he’s going to propose to Janine in order to gain access to Magnussen’s office. She’s Magnussen’s PA you see. Handy.
So he was only pretending to like her to gain access to Magnussen. That little pr….
14. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON I CAN’T EVEN!
The boys find Janine with a blow to the head, and while John stays with her, Sherlock stumbles upon the most WTF moment of all time.
Mary. Holding a gun to Magnussen’s head. John’s wife Mary.
15. Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no oh no…
Mary shoots Sherlock.
16. So many feels
Sherlock starts to slip away, despite Molly urging him to fight from within his mind palace.
Redbeard makes an appearance – it turns out it was a dog, the first thing Sherlock ever loved.
Moriarty pops up too, willing Sherlock to give up and die.
Pssst Sherlock cast members have confirmed that there were tears on set when this scene was being filmed, so you’re not alone:
17. C’MON SHERLOCK
Moriarty makes the mistake of mentioning Watson being in danger, which gives Sherlock the will to pull through.
Hands up whose arse was a little bit off their seat at this stage?
Mary learns that Sherlock is alive, and that her name was the first he uttered when he woke up.
Squeaky bum time!
19. Poor Janine
Janine comes to visit Sherlock, reveals she was only in it for the money from the tabloids.
We didn’t buy it though, did you? She definitely fancied him rotten
20. Ohhhhh yeaaaaah!
Sherlock escapes the hospital and draws Mary to him. The truth about her past finally becomes oh so clear… her orphan status, her ability to code break, her fantastic memory.
21. Poor, poor John
Finally, John and Mary come face to face. John’s life is crumbling around him. The woman he loves is a fake, a client. His best friend is a drug addict.
Flash forward to Christmas time. The whole gang are at Sherlock’s parents’ house; Mycroft, Sherlock, Mary and John.
Mary and John have (understandably) failed to reconcile, and she’s still shittin’ bricks over the information Magnussen has on her. She produces a USB stick will everything about her past on it and gives it to John… and he THROWS IT IN THE FIRE BECAUSE HE LOVES HER!
God bless us, everyone.
23. Double awwwww…
… when you realise that Sherlock and Mycroft’s parents are played by Benedict Cumberbatch’s real life parents.
24. Triple awwwwww…
… when Mycroft tells Sherlock that:
Your loss would break my heart.
25. Careful lads. CAREFUL!
Sherlock drugs everyone except John, and the pair head of the Magnussen’s lair, to put an end to his carry on for once and for all.
They demand to see the blackmailer’s vaults of information, where he keeps all of the details he uses to get what he wants.
26. Ah here
Magnussen explains that by “owning” Mary Watson he owns John, and therefore owns Sherlock and therefore Mycroft, his ultimate goal.
He then reveals that the “vaults” the lads came to see don’t exist, and that he owns all those millions of pieces of information in his mind.
The game is up.
27. Pure rage
Magnussen continues his campaign of uber trolling by repeatedly flicking John’s face.
And John has to let him, because of what he knows about Mary.
28. Oh Sherlock, what have you done?
The police and Mycroft arrive, and Sherlock does the unthinkable.
He shoots Magnussen in the head. He had no choice.
29. So many feels
Mycroft arranges for Sherlock to go to Eastern Europe for some MI6 work, an assignment he almost certainly won’t survive.
We’re not going to lie, it was hard to watch them say goodbye. Very hard.
30. WT ACTUAL F?
Just when you think Sherlock is going to fly off into the ether and leave us wondering if there will ever be a season 4, this guy happens.
He happens on tellies and screens all over the country.
31. Aaaaand breathe
You’re so tense. You’ve been tense for ninety minutes, you can finally relax.
You’re also exceptionally sad that season 3 has already been cruelly ripped from you, just when you were getting used to it.
Still though, at least you can rel… AAAAAAAAAARGRRRHHHHHH
What can it mean? Is Moriarty alive? Or is this just some cruel trick to draw Sherlock back in?
Let us know your thoughts, feelings and emotions in the comments section.