The Instagram chefs
You’re racking your brains to come up with a new and exciting way to eat pasta and pesto, while people on your Instagram feed are just “cobbling” delicious meals together using quinoa and sea bass and every vegetable under the sun.
You’re lying in bed cursing take aways for not opening until 5pm.
Meanwhile, all over your Twitter feed people are browsing flea markets, eating eggs cooked 17 different ways in brunch emporiums and taking in culture and nature left, right and centre.
Meanwhile, you’re doing this:
Oh look at you casually checking in at the gym. Good for you. THE STREETS ARE MY GYM*!
(*I walked to the shop today to buy milk and a Double Decker)
You’ve just booked a week in Lanzarote for the seventh time in eight years, while they’re checking in at Dublin Airport, heading somewhere impossibly cool and hard to get to…
Mother’s Day martyrs
It’s this Sunday you know? Plenty of days to go before you frantically dash into Tesco to buy some wilting carnations and a dodgy “Happy Mother’s Day Mummy” card because that’s all they have left.
Prepare yourself for the onslaught of:
The #CleanEats brigade
Smoothies, juices, paleo this, raw that. You’re ruining our enjoyment of this pizza!
You’re all “CLOSE THE CURTAINS”: