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Dublin: 8 °C Tuesday 19 March, 2024
smile it might not happen

9 things you shouldn't even think about saying to women in 2017

“Smile.” NO.

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1. “You’re not doing the gym right unless you spend a week’s wages on your leggings.”

Motivating yourself to go to the gym is difficult enough without magazines shaming you for not wearing expensive yoga pants. We’re already under pressure to look well in every other aspect of our lives.

The gym should be a judgment-free zone where we’re free to look manky and sweaty and red-faced without having to worry about whether our leggings are trendy enough.

2. “Don’t do your make-up on public transport, please.”

If you go to my boss and ask them if I can start work half an hour later so I can apply my make-up at home then, sure, I’ll stop doing my foundation on the bus. Otherwise, kindly mind your own business.

3. “You’re a woman. Shave like one.”

If by shaving like a woman, you mean shaving:

  • When you have to forego tights during the summer
  • When you think you’re about to have sex
  • When you’re going to wear a sleeveless dress and are worried about flashing your armpits

Then, yes, we’re happy to shave like a woman. But if you mean spending a fortune on lavender-scented razors and pressuring us to have baby-smooth pins lathered in oil, then think again.

4. “Smile. It might not happen!”

Men, please don’t tell women you don’t know to smile. Sometimes our faces are just neutral. It doesn’t mean that we’re upset or angry. In fact, we might just be making a mental note to buy washing-up liquid later.

Either way, trust us when we say that we don’t need to be reminded to smile.

5. “If you’re wearing a short skirt after the sun sets, then you’re basically asking to be attacked.”

One last time for the people down the back: wearing a short skirt on a night out does not mean that a woman is “asking for it” or “has it coming”. The onus is not on women to dress conservatively. The onus is on men to not attack women.

Simple!

(If you can’t see the video, please click here.)

6. “Women objectify men, too! Haven’t you seen the Diet Coke ad?”

Thank you, men, for allowing us silly women the chance to admire the male form in both Magic Mike and the fabled Diet Coke ad. It is very, very generous of you to offer us a film and an ad filtered through the female gaze. Definitely makes up for the thousands of years of oppression!

7. “It’s actually better to get pregnant in your twenties.”

We would wager that it’s actually better to have babies when you actually have the desire to have one and the ability to care for it. That might be at age 21 or it might be 41.

Either way, putting pressure on younger women to have children or making older women feel guilty for not having them sooner isn’t any use to anyone.

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8. “It’s not ladylike to drink beer.”

*downs can of Heineken and crushes can with bare hands*

9. “You girls love Special K so much that you want to marry it, don’t you?”

Ah yes.

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And did we mention we orgasm after eating low-fat yoghurt and squares of Galaxy? We’re peculiar like that.

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