1. How to fold a fitted sheet so that you’re not still just rolling it into a ball and hoping for the best at 27.
2. How not to blow your wages after payday and make them last a reasonable amount of time. Some tips on budgeting, please.
3. How to cook genuinely useful things that will come in handy when you’re an adult living away from home. Less queen cakes, more handy stews that will last for days.
4. How to creep on photos of nights out from 2011 without accidentally liking one of them and blowing your cover.
5. The words to Auld Lang Syne so you don’t have to improvise lyrics/hum every year.
6. How and when to use an exclamation mark in a professional email. When is it appropriate to use one? How many is too many?
7. A few basic lessons in pub etiquette. Always share your crisps, don’t skip out on rounds, don’t touch a drink with a mat on it. Some of these lessons seem to have bypassed a few people. *thinking face emoji*
8. What the f**k all the washing symbols on clothes mean.
9. How to take care of yourself when you’re sick if your Mam is in a different county.
10. How to correctly measure out how much pasta you need for dinner. *takes three fistfuls, assumes that’s enough*
11. How to actually look like a normal human being in a photo and avoid looking either too solemn or too cheery.
12. How to fold a wrap without making a complete balls of it/overloading it.
13. All boys should be taught about periods so they don’t have conniptions if they hear the word ‘tampon’.
14. How to use chopsticks so you don’t make a tit of yourself in restaurants/have to be the person that gives up and asks for a knife and fork.
15. How to walk in heels without looking like a newborn deer on rollerskates.
16. How to eat a bun without just diving headfirst into it/accidentally ingesting some of the wrapper.
