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scarlet for the 90s

16 reasons not to resuscitate the 1990s

We beg you, don’t come back.

THE FASHIONS OF the 90s might be back in a big way, but there are some things from that decade we’d all rather forget. Here’s a list of what we want to throw right into Room 101.

1. Furbies

Image: Richard Elzey/ Flickr

There was a Furby revival in September of last year. Please don’t let this happen to our children again.

2. Tamagotchis

Image: Jennie Marie/ Flickr

Hours of our youth. Wasted.

3. Bad lip liner

Image: via Fashion avec Passion

Dark lip liner around a metallic bright pastel. Why did we ever think this was a good look? It wasn’t.

4. Simply Red

Image: via

Stay in the 90s where you belong, Hucknall!

5. Tearaway tracksuit bottoms

Image: via Girl on the Park

These tear-away tracksuit bottoms made life in school a lot harder than it needed to be. How did our parents let us get away with fully removable trousers in public?

6. Jenny Jones

Image: via TV Listings

Hours spent in front of the TV, absorbing the worst 90s America had to offer us. Remember Rude Jude? We’d rather we didn’t. He can stay in the 90s along with Jenny. Sorry, Jen.

7. Push Pops

Image: via K and K Kandies

These just weren’t practical. The resulting stickiness wouldn’t go away! Push Pops can remain firmly in the past, alongside jawbreakers and ten-penny bags. We’d like the Jurassic Park ice lollies back, though, please.

8. Stick-on jewels

Image: via Costume Craze

Stick-on jewels everywhere. Beside your eyes, on your sunglasses, on your Nokia 3310, on your belly button, on your pencil case. Never again.

9. Mr Blobby

Image: Sean Dempsey/PA Archive/Press Association Images

It’s time to admit to ourselves that Mr Blobby was never entertaining, merely deeply creepy.

10. Tiny hair clasps

Image: via Love Maegan

So… why exactly did we bother?

11. Curtains

Image: via Lovelyish

The hairstyle that should never have been. See also: boys home-bleaching to jazz up their bowl-cuts.

12. Deely boppers

Image: Wikimedia Commons

As we rang in the Millenium and breathed a sigh of relief about the Y2K bug, it was time to put away the deely boppers forever.

13. Rewinding your tape with a pencil

Image: via WikiHow

We’ve come a long way from the manual days of the tape. Through CDs, mini discs, Napster down to iTunes. We don’t miss digging out a pen to rewind our tape, before popping it into our bulky Walkman (covered in stick-on jewels, naturally).

14. Blowing on the Sega cartridge

Image: NickStone333 /Flickr

Say what you want about video games in the 21st century – there’s no manual cleaning involved.

15. Gel pens

Image: Public Domain Photos/ Flickr

Scented, metallic, neon – but all very pointless.

16. Fibre optic lamps

Image: qwrrty/ Flickr

The ideal 90s bedroom contained a bean bag and a fibre optic lamp. The ideal bedroom today contains neither of those things, right? Right?

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