FIRST THERE WAS Rebecca Black’s Friday, then of course there was Chinese Food, and now there’s ABCDEFG.
That’s right, the makers of the aforementioned teen horrors are back, this time with a (completely unnecessary) prequel for Alison Gold’s Chinese Food.
In what is arguably the creepiest music video of all time, Alison sings the alphabet and some other unintelligable words while struggling to get attention from her crush.
Fortunately, the producer of these classics is on hand to help. He starts by creepily looking in her bedroom window.
Then he comes up with some sort of plan while gazing at the toy train set Alison apparently lives in.
We soon learn that his plan is to collect Alison in a toy van which he will then move around his train set.
Of course.
He drives her around his train set, eventually taking her to ‘the club’, cleverly named ‘Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do’, where her crush has magically appeared.
Alas, things don’t go well at first, so music producer Gold has another idea.
He’ll drug them!
No no, he’ll use some love potion. Except, he accidentally picks the wrong potion and turns everyone in the club into puppets. SILLY MUSIC PRODUCER MAN.
What’s next? Well he’ll just magically appear in the club as a puppet of course. Alison’s crush thinks this is as ridiculous as the rest of us.
But it’s ok! Cupid has arrived and he shoots Alison’s crush, and then he has love hearts in his eyes. Amazing!
Then Music Producer guy spikes the punch with Chinese food potion and the crush turns into a plate of spring rolls and chow mein.
OF COURSE!
Watch the whole bewildering thing below.
Whatever next?
