ALIEXPRESS IS A handy little website for when you’re looking for cheap clothes or beauty dupes and you’re willing to wait a month for delivery. It can also be a place where you get lost in the reviews as Twitter user @0edipussy found out.
Went through the reviews on AliExpress for a pair of sunglasses and this was one of the photos. Needless to say, I ordered them. pic.twitter.com/56b0sVKVyK
— cloven hoof ♀️🇵🇸 (@0edipussy) June 8, 2018
A cat in sunglasses? We’re sold to be honest. What other mad reviews does AliExpress have? Well step right this way and find out for yourself.
A fake fox fur butt plug.
This butt plug comes in a glorious spectrum of purple which is what we all want out of our butt plugs really. But how did the reviewers find it?
Tail isn’t very fluffy. Cute and fun colour is great, plus is good.
It’s such a pity when your butt plug isn’t fluffy enough isn’t it?
Not very soft but rather satisfied
There’s something rather sinister about this perfectly innocent review. Not very soft kind of suggests that they’re using it the wrong way round but if they’re satisfied then more power to them.
Primer
Primer is now very important and having recently been converted to its importance, a good dupe for a primer is something I’m always on the lookout for.
Without any smell, tried, it’s hard something say usefull or not.
A 5 star review for a product that you’re not really sure about despite having tried it. It’s like when you go into a restaurant and the food isn’t great but you don’t complain because you don’t want to offend anyone.
A Handbag
Here we have a chic looking handbag that seems perfect for everyday use and isn’t too expensive either at just $20.
Bag is ok. it is very large not sure if it will fit the intended purpose.
Fair enough the bag is bigger than you expected but I’m very curious as to what the ‘intended purpose’ is. You’d hardly buy it thinking it was a clutch would you?
Wireless Muscle Stimulator
In our dream world we would all have our dream bodies and some of us would like a little more muscle on said body. Electrical stimulation may not be the way to go but nevertheless some people tried it.
Well it’s looking good, I have tried it one time and I didn’t knew that it’s giving electricity to the body, so for the people who have any health problem be careful before using this devices.
Our poor friend here didn’t seem to read the description where it says ‘electrical stimulation’ but hey at least he’s warning other people so they don’t end up like Frank Grimes.
no it much strength
This person may have gotten the full Frank Grimes effect by the sounds of it. I hope they’re ok.
Moisturizing Pearls
So the idea of these is that they sit on your face (mind out of the gutter) and are absorbed into your skin (I’m serious) which sounds like a lot more effort than regular moisturizing.
first time and burnin покраснело all face. even terrible. еле сдержалась, not to умыться. have no morning reactions. -if feel strange мажешь oil, mind and gel. instantly absorbed. more like, than no. see later will be.
Call me old fashioned but I believe that a burning sensation isn’t the best reaction to have with a moisturizer. The person still gave the product 5 stars but who knows if they’re actually still alive?
Hair extensions
Hair extensions are vital for nights out as we have seen from Rosie in Love Island but you want to make sure you get something that doesn’t look like it was glued to your head by a toddler.
The wig headband looked like it was made out of hair used for dolls.
I mean without trying to sound too smart, hair extensions are literally false hair are they not?
So the review itself is fine but what on earth is that picture of? Is the person being held captive? Are they into bondage? WHAT IS HAPPENING?
Fluffy Slippers
Given it’s Pride month, these slippers would be ideal for it and they come in a range of like 4 million colours. It’s like having a pom pom attached to your toes.
I definitely expected a better quality flip flop. The green was a shade darker than anticipated. The flip flop is also loose when sliding my feet inside, my toes will slide out of the top, and I had to adjust my feet.
Without being entirely dismissive of AliExpress, I feel expecting a better quality of flip flop is the definition of having high expectations. That being said, there is nothing worse than slidey feet.
Stretch Mark Cream
Despite the picture looking slightly scary and having a slightly different skin tone, we hold out some high hopes for this super cream.
mind the bad cream. jar small type baby cream soviet smell smell. отправляли very long, walking is very long, 1,5 month.
According to this user it’s both a bad cram and has a soviet smell which I’m very curious about. What exactly defines a soviet smell? Communism?
Anti Aging Serum
Yet another terrifying picture where a woman has lined up beside her grandmother to demonstrate the process of aging. Surely a serum can’t be that good?
Thank you so much dear! The little president very good.
I know it’s just a simple spelling mistake but I can’t get the imagine of someone ordering Miggeldy on AliExpress and being delighted with his arrival.
excellent moisturizing, combined with all super эмульсией. leather delicate, like baby) uniquely recommend.
Last time I checked babies were not made of leather.
