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The people you like in real life but despise on the internet

We can still hang out in real life, but I’m afraid you’re getting hidden from the newsfeed.

SOME PEOPLE JUST suck at the internet.

They are perfectly pleasant in real life, be they a close friend or work colleague, but faced with their online presence you want to firmly click the Escape button.

How can someone be so different online? How have they constructed this dire virtual persona that irks you so much?

We don’t know. It’s an unquantifiable formula, a perfect storm that combines to bring you the worst Facebook status updates of all time.

(PS, the genders are at random – don’t worry, both sexes are equal offenders in irritating social media stakes.)

Mr Switcheroo

People who can’t get their online persona straight with their real life personality. They either leave strangely effusive compliments on pictures or else snarky comments on statuses.

Would you ever say that to me in real life? No. So why do you think you can say it online?

Image: Flickr/SuperFantastic

Ms Celebrity Tweeter

These are people you used to hold in high esteem. Formerly respectable friends who earnestly tweet at celebrities.

What are they expecting here? How can your extremely intelligent friend think tweeting at Z-list reality TV stars is adding to their life?

Image: Flickr/Ed Yourdon

Ms Attention Seeker

That perfectly lovely girl you knew in school. Last time you met her out, she was so nice and even bought you a drink.


Image: Flickr/Ed Yourdon

Mr Match Ruiner

You’re a sound guy. We get on. So please. Please.

Why did you post the result of the match up like that when you knew everyone was in work for it?

Image: Flickr/FailedImitator

Mr .@ Overuser

The easygoing guy you love to chat to down the pub is the worst offender for the aggressive Twitter trolling.

It’s one thing to pick fights online. It’s quite another thing to preface every tweet with a full-stop, so that your entire follower list can follow the sordid little tiff.

Image: Flickr/Ed Yourdon

And yet these people would never shout and roar at anyone in real life.

Keyboard warriors, eh?

Ms Paparazzi Imitator

We had a fun night out, didn’t we? We were busy with the intense work of having fun. So why did you check me in everywhere we went and how did you even manage to take 50 photographs of me?

Image: Flickr/Todd Huffman

Mr Passive Aggressive

You had to cancel on some plans with a mate. They were understanding about it in person, and you both promised to reschedule.

Next thing you see a status on their page giving out, rounded off with the superlatively snide hashtag #somepeople.

Sorry, what? Say it to our bleedin’ faces.

Image: Flickr/GaryKnight

What cool people in real life ruin your buzz online?

Read: 9 things you never knew before social media>

Read: The 11 people who wreck your head on social media>

About the author:

Fiona Hyde

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