Dublin: 16 °C Friday 1 July, 2022

The 11 most annoying things you can say to an Irish emigrant

So, how long are you back for?

1. ‘You’re getting a bit of the accent.’

Source: kennymatic

Often followed by their awful cockney impression.

2. ‘Do you see much of [other person who emigrated there]?’

Source: Rob & Jules

Well, Perth’s only 3,200km away so yeah we hang out loads.

3. ‘How much would a pint be?’

Source: mfajardo

Somehow impossible for anyone to understand your life situation without this essential metric.

4. ‘Can you get real tea?’

Source: grassrootsgroundswell

No, which I keep telling you, but somehow you’ve never sent any.

5. ‘Skype is great though, isn’t it?’

Source: Imgur

Yes. Yes, it’s great. Are you happy now?

6. ‘Do you ever watch Irish TV over there?’


7. ‘Is it really like Home and Away?’

Yes, precisely like Home and Away. Next question.

8. ‘Any nice [insert nationality here] boys/girls?’

Source: josemanuelerre

Funny, since you ask I HAVE been batting away potential suitors with a heavy stick ever since descending the steps of the plane. Weird huh?

9. ‘Do you miss home? Do you? You do, don’t you?’

Source: thesuperaliceflickr

Do I miss home? Yes. Do I miss long-term unemployment? We-ell… no.

10. ‘I’ve a cousin in [place that's miles away from where emigrant lives]‘

Source: Google Maps

Oh, great.

11. [In a tone of slight resentment] ‘So, what brought you back?’

Source: D464-Darren Hall

Oh, it was the chance to stand around in an overpriced pub listening to you being passive-aggressive about my choices actually. Since you ask.

More: 15 annoying things emigrants say>

About the author:

Michael Freeman

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