THE PRIMARY PURPOSE of apps? That would be obliterating your boredom.
Presenting 16 apps, graduated by the quantity of boredom they can sucker-punch:
To slay one minute of boredom…
Threes (iOS, Android, €1.79)
Simple to play, hard to master – a puzzle game where you combine numbers to make threes. Somehow, incredibly satisfying.
Swing Copters (iOS, Android, free)
The brain-meltingly frustrating follow-up to Flappy Bird. Ideal for occupying a very short amount of time, because you will die almost immediately, over and over again.
Imgur (official Android or third party iOS app, free)
The home of the most viral images on the web. Reliably funny, poignant, and infuriating. Sometimes NSFW.
Clean My Screen (iOS only, free)
Watch a dog or cat lick your screen clean. Weirdly compelling.
To slay five minutes of boredom…
Timberman (iOS, Android, free)
Pick up an axe, chop down trees, avoid the falling branches. Sound simple? It isn’t.
Dumb Ways To Die 2 (iOS, Android, free)
Remember the public safety campaign for Melbourne’s railways that went viral? Well, there’s now an app. And you have to prevent the death-prone critters from offing themselves in increasingly ludicrous ways. It’s pretty good!
Score! World Goals (iOS, Android, free)
Try your best to recreate classic goals from down the years. I AM MARADONAAAAAA.
Tetris Blitz (iOS, Android, Windows, free)
Like Tetris, but you can play against other people. Basically, the competitive Tetris you always wanted.
To slay 15 minutes of boredom…
Bridge Constructor (iOS, Android, Windows, free version or €1.79)
You have a budget. You have an array of different materials. And you have to build a bridge that will carry cars across (or, if you’re feeling especially ambitious, trucks). Highly enjoyable and really quite challenging.
Split Pic (iOS, Android, free)
By splitting up your device’s camera, this app lets you clone yourself multiple times into the same picture. Ideal for (a) creative selfies and (b) turning your pet into a savage army of spaniels.
QuizUp (iOS, Android, free)
Exercise your inner competitiveness and/or love of quizzes by pitting your knowledge against thousands of other bored punters worldwide.
French Girls (iOS only, free)
This app lets you take other people’s selfies and deface them. (Or turn them into portraits, depending on your approach.) Only thing is, they can do the same to you. Experience the feeling of power as you give someone else a double chin.
To slay half an hour of boredom, or more…
TED (iOS, Android, free)
A giant collection of TED talks, in handy app form. Simply pick a category and prepare to hear from the world’s finest minds, with all information delivered in easily-digestible TED-talk form. You’ll be entertained AND feel good about yourself.
Music Maker Jam (iPad, Android, Windows, free)
Actually, genuinely, make music. In loads of different styles. It’s dead easy – in fact word has it that it’s so easy even Will.I.Am can get to grips with it.
Fantasy Premier League (iOS €1.79, Android €1.50, Windows €1.50)
With great entertainment comes great fretting. Endless opportunities here for tweaking, exchanging, reorganising. Feel free to chew gum frantically if it makes you feel more authentic.
Codecademy: Code Hour (iOS only, free)
Learn the basics of coding in one hour. Done. Bish bash bosh. AND it’s pretty fun. Look, if Enda Kenny can do it, so can you.
