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budget beers

A definitive ranking of bag-of-cans beers, from worst to best


SO YOU’VE MADE the decision to bring a bag of cans to your mate’s for a chill one.

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But what beer to choose?

PLEASE NOTE: The criteria here is that they be budget beers in cans, available from all good supermarkets. No ciders or fancy craft bottle fare.

16. Obscure Lidl or Aldi, or own brand beer

Keep these to have away from company. We won’t tell anyone.

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15. Carlsberg

Does anyone who isn’t your uncle actually drink this in Ireland?

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14. Grolsch

Who do you even think you are? Go to a pub.

grolsch-premium-lager-beer-4x500-ml-cans Premierexports Premierexports

13. Bavaria

Scaldy. So scaldy. Have some self respect.

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12. Bud Light

Would you G’WAY. You’re uninvited to cans.

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11. Carling

Unless you’re at a British music festival and this is your absolute only option, it’s not acceptable.

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10. Tuborg

This sounds like a toy an eight-year-old boy would want. Avoid.

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9. Fosters

We’re getting into acceptable territory now, but it’s still bound to get you a few looks.

Cheap though, which is always a positive.

Fosters Lager 8 Pack Can 8X500ml - Groceries - Tesco Groceries Tesco Tesco

8. Budweiser

Acceptable, easy to palette and largely inoffensive to all involved.

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7. Coors Light

Don’t be put off by the ‘light’. It’s refreshing and looks a bit sophisticated. Look, there’s a mountain on it for God’s sake. Nature.

coors-light-30-pk1 Rogerwilco Rogerwilco

6. Dutch Gold

SERIOUS bag of cans fare here. It’s cheap, expected, and it goes with field drinking like beige food goes with a hangover.

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5. Warka

This Polish delight is unusual enough to maybe fool some people into thinking it’s posh, but it’s really really not. Put it in your flimsy bag today.

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4. Zywiec

Yet again, the Polish prove they make the best cheap beer known to man. It doesn’t taste awful either.

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3. Stella Artois

Have some sense, act like you’re cultured, go for the Stella. They look a bit cheap but you can constantly pronounce it in a Belgian accent.

Stella Ar-twah.

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2. Miller

Nobody ever says anything bad about Miller, because it does the job and isn’t too challenging. You can even go for the light if it’s a nice day to up the refreshing factor.

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1. Heineken

A cliche, but it’s the perfect bag of cans beer. Fight us at your peril.

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While no further correspondence will be entered into regarding this important and strictly definitive list, feel free to discuss all wrongdoing in the comments.

Here’s how to cool down a can in just two minutes>

Did you know you can only buy Dutch Gold in Ireland?>

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