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Dublin: 2 °C Thursday 28 March, 2024
The cosmetic status of these trousers' contents is unknown. Elvert Barnes via Flickr
tighten your tackle

'Ball ironing' is now available to tighten men's nether regions

Are YOU a bit saggy down there?

MEN, SHRINK BEFORE your screens in terror.

‘Ball ironing’ is now a legitimate cosmetic procedure, and it may be coming to a clinic near you.

Here’s the story.

Back in 2008, George Clooney did a now-famous (OK, in some circles) interview with Esquire in which he cracked a joke about getting his… nuts tightened:

I did get my balls done, though. I got them unwrinkled. It’s the new thing in Hollywood – ball ironing.

Five years later, his gag appears to have become a reality. Jamie Sherrill, a cosmetic practitioner at Santa Monica’s Beauty Park Medical Spa commonly known as TV’s Nurse Jamie, is now offering a scrotum-tightening procedure for men.

George Clooney, regretting having ever mentioned his goddamn balls. (Ian West/PA Wire)

It’s officially known as the Male Laser Lift – see here for its extremely discreet entry on the centre’s website – but Sherrill told the Daily Mail she considered other names including Ball Ironing and Go Nuts.

She added:

They thought the Brazilian bikini wax was crazy ten years ago and now it’s just part of the process . The tide is turning – don’t knock it until you try it. Down there the skin ages, it’s a thinner skin like that around the eyes.

According to the website, the procedure takes hold of your testicles and

evens out skin tone, removes discoloration [...] removes skin tags and provides overall tightening to the external skin.

So now you know. Form an orderly queue, gentlemen.

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