GROUPON IS A place of wonder and imagination. Do you need a voucher for discount go karting? A waffle maker? What about a two storey playhouse? The possibilities are simply endless.
The beauty section in particular is a treasure trove of stuff you never knew you needed and stuff you’ve never actually heard of.
Here are 15 of the best.
1. Some jade massage rollers
In the immortal words of Donna from Parks and Recreation sometimes we just need to treat ourselves. These jade massage rollers for your face are right up that alley. It’s supposed to promote blood circulation and metabolism of the skin surface. Sounds sciency enough for me.
2. How about some liquid gold?
Yes for just €7 you can have a pot of liquid gold serum which aims to moisturize and energize your skin. It also wants to accelerate your skin according to the description, whatever the hell that means. Vroom vroom.
3. For the multitasker in your life
Have you ever needed to charge your phone and apply make up at the exact same moment? Well worry no more because now there’s a portable charger which comes with a mirror. It’s a combination we never knew we needed.
4. Need a colon cleanse?
Diets and food trends are all the rage at the moment so why not get ahead of the curve and try this aloe vera colon cleanse? Alternatively dissolve these tablets and use them to treat your sunburn if the sun ever chooses to return to this country. Warning: This may not actually help your sunburn.
5. Some sweet, sweet snail serum
Snail serum has made a comeback in recent years as Korean beauty trend. Snail slime seems to have properties which rejuvenate the skin and prevent aging and improve wrinkles. Mmmmmmmm snail slime.
6. A beard growth pen
While this looks like a sharpie that you could draw a beard with apparently it actually has the capability of activating hair growth. I mean given it’s quite cheap if it doesn’t work out, you could try an actual sharpie.
7. What about the Jedward hairbrush?
This hairbrush actually looks super handy but I just can’t shake the Jeward feeling out of it. I mean who else has ever said ‘Amazeballs’ unironically?
8. A salt therapy session
We all love being salty whether it’s a good vent or just being passive aggressive while watching TV. Now here is your opportunity for you and salt to be come one in this handy one off session.
9. Some festival urinals
Look get to day three of any festival and the toilets are a no-go. So why not do the reasonable thing and pee in this can and throw it anywhere? It even comes with a handy cap for when you’re on the go and can’t find somewhere to chuck the piss away. At least the female one is somewhat hygienic, practical and comes in a nice colour.
10. Magnetic weight loss bracelets?
Apparently these magnet bracelets help reduce inflammation which somehow makes you lose weight. Magnets are evidently really, really powerful and we should really be careful with them. They could take over.
11. Some very aggressive protein powder
Why does every creatine box look like it wants to stalk me and murder me on my way home from work? The eyes on this box are particularly disturbing. Maybe we could keep Kong on the leash?
12. The blackhead extractor from your nightmares
I wasn’t even aware that such a terrifying tool existed but here it is in all it’s horror. It looks like something your dentist uses when he promises it won’t hurt but it ends up scarring for you for life. Please keep it away from me.
13. This hairdryer hood
Yes this will help you achieve that ‘salon look’ but it does kind of look like that a sentient elephant trunk has latched onto your brain and is controlling your movements.
14. The elixir of life
If you mix this with your moisturiser apparently it reveals your ‘inner radiance’. Honestly if this doesn’t reveal a tiny little sun in my soul then I want no part of these ‘youth drops’. Buy them just to stave off the though that death is coming for us all if that’s what you’re into.
15. A beard cape
When putting hair down the sink is too messy, you can get a beard cape and catch all that nasty hair. Alternatively you can tie it around your neck and run around your house screaming ‘NA NA NA NA NA BEARDMAN’. Whatever floats your boat.
