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The Dredge: Beyoncé describes giving birth to a person

All the very best of the morning’s celebrity dirt.

How Beyoncé may have looked while giving birth
How Beyoncé may have looked while giving birth
Image: Mark Humphrey/AP/Press Association Images

EVERY WEEKDAY MORNING, DailyEdge.ie rounds up the best of the day’s celebrity dirt – from the top to the very bottom.

#BEY-BEY: Beyoncé is talking all about how her baby Blue Ivy emerged from her.

She loved it, apparently. She doesn’t know what all you mammies are complaining about.

My family and my closest people were there when I gave birth.

That means her PR, her manager, and so on right? And Kelly Rowland. But maybe not Michelle. Oh, and the pain? She loved that too:

So for me to really let go and really appreciate every contraction . . . it was the best day of my life.

Piece of cake, see? (Vogue)

#JUSTIN PEEVER: You don’t mess with Justin Bieber. You don’t even say anything remotely unflattering about Justin Bieber. Because he will find you, and he will post something passive-aggressive on Twitter about you pretending that it’s a joke. (Note to self: pitch this plot for Taken 3.)

After the Black Keys drummer Patrick Carney told TMZ that Bieber should be OK with not being at the Grammys, because “he’s making a lot of money”, Bieber released the following official statement:

It’s the “haha” that makes it so sinister. Like being threatened by an evil doll. (NYDN)

#TWINKLE: Brian (née Bryan) McFadden has predicted that Niall Horan is going to be the first member of One Direction to quit in a huff. That’s because young Niall reminds him of a young hell-raiser by the name of Brian (or sometimes Bryan) McFadden. (STV)

All the ones that leave first always have that same kind of twinkle in their eye; they’re a bit bold, a bit naughty! I reckon Niall’s the naughty one [...] I’ve seen that twinkle before in the mirror! He’s gonna cause trouble.

Remember the days when Brian/ Bryan was just a young troublemaker with nothing to lose?

McFadden, about to bludgeon a member of Another Level for ‘looking at me funny’. (MIKE WHEELER/Press Association Images)

#RICHER THAN YOU: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s daughter Vivienne is pulling in $3,000 a week – a WEEK – for her first job. How old is she? Four.

Oh, and that’s on top of a daily sweetener of $60 for all the rusks and carrot batons she can eat. OK, her first job is in one of mammy’s movies, but STILL. Shouldn’t she start off with a paper round or something? (TMZ)

We couldn’t afford a photo of Vivienne, because she could buy and sell us with her morning Ready-Brek. So here are some Brad and Angelina waxworks. (Rob Griffith/AP/Press Association Images)

And the rest of the day’s dirt:

  • Penelope Cruz is pregnant with the world’s most perfect baby, we’re guessing. (People)
  • Martine McCutcheon off EastEnders is bankrupt, no matter how much yoghurt she eats. (Mirror)
  • Justin Timberlake is going on a stadium tour with Jay-Z. (LA Times)
  • Britney Spears dressed up as a slutty chav. Or something. (Twitter)
  • Imogen Thomas had her hair done before going into labour, so in the photos she wouldn’t look like one of those “women who have just given birth who look really sweaty and have no bra on”. (The Sun)

Yesterday’s Dredge: Are Rihanna and Chris Brown engaged? (Twitter thinks so)>

About the author:

Michael Freeman

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