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The 10 joyous stages of getting your very first car

Time to go to all the places we don’t need to go to.

GREAT NEWS GUYS, car sales are on the up. It would just take you back to when you got your first heap of metal to call your own.

1. Debating whether or not to name it

There’s no absolute purpose for giving your car a name but you did anyway. You might even give it a gender.

Aw, she runs like a beaut.

car1 Shutterstock Shutterstock

2. Adjusting to it

If you learned to drive in someone else’s car you’ll basically have to do it all over again due to the different biting points, steering, and basically… is this even a proper car?


3. Jazzing it up

Buy all the accessories Halfords have to offer. Your car is now your second home, except everyone can see it ALL THE TIME.

hello-kitty-car-interior Kittyhell Kittyhell

People must know what radio station you listen to or what football team you support.


4. Offering EVERYONE a lift

This gets old reeeaally fast but if anyone is in need of a lift within the first few weeks you get your car, by God you’ll be outside beeping.

car4 Shutterstock Shutterstock

5. Horrifying your mam with the first lift you give her

Even if you go slower than a wet week, your mam still acts like you’re giving Lewis Hamilton a race.


For this reason, the ‘Oh Jaysus handle’ was a primary requirement when car-shopping.

017e Roblightbody Roblightbody

6. Realising it costs SO MUCH

Tax, petrol, NCT, repairs, new tyres, cash to throw out the window as you pass a crowd at the bus stop… it all adds up.

You didn’t want any disposable income anyway.

car3 DaDaAce DaDaAce

Don’t even start us on the complexities of looking for a good first insurance deal.

XRHD5HZ Imgur Imgur

7. Making at least one CD for your crappy player

Need some tunes for the open road, man. Deal with it.

My friend got a new car, this is his first CD - Imgur Imgur Imgur

8. Driving around aimlessly with a full car

If you were a teenager and one of the first of your friends to drive, you were basically God.

At least, in your own head.

car2 Shutterstock Shutterstock

In reality, piling your friends in the car to drive around in circles just looked like this:


9. Talking stats

Usually in conversation with an older male and fellow car owners. You’ll be asked things like how does she drive? Is it a 1.2 or 1.5?

The only problem is that you actually have no idea.

car5 Shutterstock Shutterstock

10. Slowly realising that you’ve officially moved to the dark-side

From the moment those wheels knock into motion, you own the road. When you were a cyclist you hated drivers. As a pedestrian, you hated cyclists. Now you hate everyone. And taxis. Always taxis.

Imgflip Shutterstock Shutterstock

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