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A screenwriter in LA has written an 150-page conspiracy theory about Carly Rae Jepsen and her music

We’re through the looking glass here people.

CARLY RAE JEPSEN has established an empire all of her own within internet culture.

She (almost) single-handedly saved Vine, thanks in large to the saxophone intro of Run Away With Me.

Vine House / YouTube

(RIP Vine. It never gets easier knowing you’re no longer with us).

She may be a meme queen in her own right, but she’s also considered a bloody good musician and vocalist too.

Jepsen’s 2014 release ‘EMOTION’ is a classic album that was, shall we, underappreciated commercially.

But now, the theory that Jepsen is actually a stellar songwriter has come under threat from screenwriter Max Landis.

Last month, Landis published a 150-page page manuscript which theorises that all of Jepsen’s songs are about falling in love and heartbreak.

A plausible theory, for sure.

Landis created a website called “A Scar No One Else Can See,” with an introduction and seven-part series to his Jepsen manuscript. In an introduction video, Landis claims to have discovered the fact that Jepsen’s entire musical career has focused on singing about the same story of getting dumped over and over across her entire discography.

(That’s three albums and two EPs full of heartbreak).

Landis asks:

Imagine a world where The Beatles only sang songs about yellow submarines; where every single Beatles’ song, no matter what, eventually came back to being about a yellow submarine?

“The Jepsen Pattern, once you understand its rubric, it about as subtle as a brick to the face,” Landis writes in his ‘living manuscript’

Analyzing ‘EMOTION’, Landis concluded that Jepsen only sings about:

  • Temptation (Sexual)
  • Obsession
  • Limerance
  • Secrets
  • Escape
  • Rejection
  • Misery/Longing


CarlyRaeJepsenVEVO / YouTube

He also deduced that there are certain topics, common within the realm of pop music, that Jepsen does not sing about:

  • Wanting to dance and have fun
  • Clubbing/partying unless it’s to escape something
  • Looking great or feeling confident

CarlyRaeJepsenVEVO / YouTube

The manuscript goes on to analyze almost all of Jepsens’s back-catalogue in magnificent detail, to the point where any description of it here would fail to do it justice.

You can read the investigation in all its glory here.

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