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fists of fire

8 things Charlie Sheen has declared himself

You can be whatever you want to be, Charlie.

CHARLIE SHEEN TURNS 48 today.

The eccentric actor is probably best known for his famous family and lead role in sitcom Two and a Half Men–until last year when he was kicked off for calling the show’s creator Chuck Lorre a ‘charlatan’, among other slurs.

His erratic behaviour has kept him in headlines, spouting off about #winning, tiger blood and his drug use.

Here are just a few things which Sheen has since claimed to be.

1. Not bipolar, but bi-winning

I’m bi-winning. I win here and I win there, now what?

INFetcTED

2. An F-8 fighter jet

I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.

jet Ivan_Sabo / Shutterstock.com|Chris Pizzello/AP/Press Association Images Ivan_Sabo / Shutterstock.com|Chris Pizzello/AP/Press Association Images / Shutterstock.com|Chris Pizzello/AP/Press Association Images

3. A high priest Vatican assassin warlock

We work for the pope, we murder people. We’re Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they’re not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people.

vatican-warlock Wallofsheen Wallofsheen

4. A rock star from Mars

I’m tired of pretending I’m not special. I’m tired of pretending I’m not bitchin’ and a total … rock star from Mars.

mars Todd Williamson / AP/Press Association Images Todd Williamson / AP/Press Association Images / AP/Press Association Images

5. A drug

I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

drugs iPadLatest iPadLatest

6. An alien

If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ It fires in a way that’s maybe not from this terrestrial realm.

 

sheenalien Shutterstock Shutterstock

7. Insane

Here’s the good news. If I realize that I’m insane, then I’m okay with it. I’m not dangerous insane.

TV-White Knuckles TV AP / Press Association Images AP / Press Association Images / Press Association Images

8. The owner of a fire breathing fist

I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.

firefist Shutterstock Shutterstock

Here’s how Charlie Sheen documented his trip to Dublin>

VIDEO: Charlie Sheen tries out Irish accent onstage at Dublin Slash gig>