“We knew him way back when he was in Ballykissangel.”
The Americans might know who you are now, Colin, but we knew you way back when. Don’t forget where you came from and all that.
“By God, he was a mad bastard when he was a young fella, wasn’t he?”
Back in the day, Colin Farrell was renowned for being a quintessential bad boy, a womaniser with a penchant for Jack Daniels and other substances. Irish people were both impressed with and horrified by his constitution. “He likes his few drinks,” they’d say, which is like saying Donald Trump enjoys playing golf “every now and again”.
“But he cleaned his act right up. He’s into the yoga and transcendental meditation these days.”
Seems to be doing him no harm, says you. Sure, isn’t he positively glowing these days?
“Wasn’t he doing well for himself to get with Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan?”
For a lad from Castleknock, like.
“I’d say Colin Farrell is great craic in a smoking area.”
Colin Farrell is always up for the chats with strangers. He’s generous with filters. He always has a lighter to hand. Bow down and respect the King of the Smoking Area.
“I think *I* could probably shift Colin Farrell.”
This, of course, is delusional, but Colin Farrell has a lovable rogue quality about him that makes him seem attainable even though he’s a literal film star. “If I could just get talking to him, I bet we’d hit it off…”
“Honestly I respect that he may have scored Elizabeth Taylor.”
You do you, Colin.
“If he doesn’t win an Oscar at some point, I will be personally insulted.”
He’s working so hard! He deserves it! Be sound!
“I just want Colin Farrell to be happy.”
A true national treasure.
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