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So, here's what happened when I got my fat frozen off AKA CoolSculpting

Cold as ice. was approached by Therapie Clinic to trial its new CoolSculpting service with no promise of a positive or negative review.

IS THERE A better way to spend a Wednesday morning than by lying on a medical chair having your fat suctioned and frozen all while wearing cloth trousers?

I didn’t think so when I signed up to trial Therapie’s new service, CoolSculpting.

Here’s the short version of what CoolSculpting involves – it’s a non surgical procedure that uses controlled cooling to eliminate stubborn fat cells. If you fancy the TL;DR about what goes down, you can click the link at the end of the piece.

The science-y bits

So, I went in for 9am appointment with a plan to work from home after (as recommended by Therapie as some of the side effects can include dizziness and nausea). I met Christina, my skin consultant and she went through everything with me.

First things first

Christina asked if there were any particular areas I wanted treated, but I left it up to her to see as she is the expert. She advised getting my middle back (kind of along my braline) and my lower stomach as I would see the best results there. 

After weighing me and taking a ‘before’ picture from all angles in my makeshift scrubs bra and shorts, she marked out the areas for suction on my body with marker. So far, so good. 

Image from iOS (13)

What next?

My skin was cleaned and a fructose sticky sheet thing was applied to prevent my skin from being burned by the freezer pad. I was measured up to suctions that fit my, eh, areas and had them attached. Honestly, I didn’t find the suction uncomfortable at all. They started with one side – one on my stomach, one on my back on opposite sides – and was made comfortable on the medical bed with pillows and blankets. 

Image from iOS (14) The suction for my stomach

Then, she turned on the machine.

I’m not going to lie to you, it is freezing. I couldn’t really feel my back as much, but my front was uncomfortable (myself and my low pain threshold would give it 6.5/10).

Each freezing session takes 35 minutes, during which I listened to podcasts and just chilled. They provide you with tea, coffee, Diet Coke or water throughout if needs be. After eight minutes, you start to feel pretty numb and the discomfort lessens significantly.

What came after ended up being more painful though.

Your consultant has to massage the area after to encourage the white bloods cells to get rid of the dead cells and to increase blood circulation. This feels grim, like a proper finger pummeling. Don’t be surprised if your consultant apologises at length while doing so – the whole process will only take about two minutes though.

So, what now?

I’m tender and a bit numb, but that’s about it (and that feeling won’t last for very long, though numbness can last for up to seven weeks). I’m due back in three months for an assessment to see if I “need” further sessions to get optimum results, but Christina doesn’t think I will need them. I might experience some bruising on my back, but it’ll be minimal. 

Image from iOS (15) Aftercare and risks

When I have my ‘before and afters’ I’ll be back to update this piece and to give a definitive judgement. 

But here are my initial thoughts in the meantime …

It’s an expensive procedure, although Therapie’s service is significantly cheaper in comparison to its competitors at €550 per 35 minute cycle.

It’s aimed at people who want help shifting stubborn areas of fat, so for the price, you could argue that the results are minimal. It’s not a magical weight loss solution, though in fairness to Therapie, they do not promote it as being one. 

That said, if you’re someone who’s changed their lifestyle and has lost weight as a result, you might be interested in this as a way of tweaking some spot areas of fat. 

So you’ve decided to freeze your fat off: Everything you need to know about CoolSculpting

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