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Dublin: 6 °C Saturday 19 January, 2019

Ireland's county mottos have been revealed and some of them are gas

Waterford’s motto is just very, very specific.

WE ALL LOVE a good motto. It’s something that keeps us grounded and something that we can refer back to when we need some advice. Well that’s the idea anyway.

Now host of podcast ‘Motherfocloir’ Darach has unearthed a map which shows all the mottos of the counties of Ireland and some of them are just utterly bizarre.

What’s even stranger is that counties like Cork, Kilkenny and Carlow appear to not have any mottos at all. That being said you could just take poetic licence with those counties. For example Cork could be ‘We’re the true capital’ and Kilkenny’s could be ‘Yes we’re actually a city’.

Let’s start with Offaly.

Poor oul Offaly just wants people to ‘be faithful’. Like be faithful to what? Brain Cowen? Religion? Hurling? Evidently the words ‘Offaly’ and ‘specificity’ don’t go together.

Then we have Laois.

Laois’ motto basically sounds like a motto from any number of government departments. It sort of sounds like Laois is going to come out to your house and look after your ailing grandmother three times a week.

Wexford has gotten a bit ahead of itself.

Again I must ask what example is Wexford setting? I mean yes Wexford is lovely but just haven’t lovely weather isn’t setting an example, it’s just being lucky.

Limerick just sounds like it’s in the Sopranos.

It sounds like it’s about to take vengeance on Kerry for a long running family feud that everyone is involved in but nobody remembers why.

Cavan sounds more like a Game of Thrones house.

Either that or it’s the newest version of Lynx body spray.

Waterford is just incredibly specific.

Who is Declan? What did he do in Waterford? I NEED ANSWERS.

Down seems to be getting very political.

Down just really likes Brendan Howlin/Jeremy Corbyn ok?

As usual Kildare and Wicklow are too similar for their own good.

They’re just really proud of the fact that both their populations really enjoy their vodka and their rum. Either that or there’s a lot of ghosts on this side of the country.

Mayo just sound like they’re at mass.

‘And also with you’

‘A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Sam MacGuire’

‘Glory to you oh Jesus Christ maybe this year we’ll win it’.

Monaghan has just gone with a GAA motto.

The literal definition of ‘head down and follow through’.

Donegal just wants the best for everyone.

I mean they did give us Daniel O’Donnell.

While Dublin is just spoiling for a fight.

Basically Dublin is looking for a row and they’re going to back up all their shit talk with some serious punching. Or handbags. Whichever you want.

And Westmeath is just sitting there better than all of us.

They truly are the unproblematic fave.

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About the author:

Rachel O'Neill

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