Dublin: 15 °C Sunday 26 June, 2022

9 distances that would make no sense to anyone outside Ireland

No GPS here.

1. A spit away

When Irish eyes were smiling Source: Liamfm .

Translation: it’s actually pretty far but we’re trying to play the distance down to make it sound closer.

2.  Two parishes over

Church View Source: Mark J Devine

Tourist: “Please, kilometres will do.”

3. Down the way

Sloperton, Monkstown - Dun Laoghaire (Ireland) Source: infomatique

4. A country mile

driving in rural ireland Source: dennis

Response: “I will accept the directions in regular miles as well.”

5. Beyont

Athlone Town - Ireland Source: infomatique

Translation: Undefined area in another direction, but a very specific distance away.

6. Past the gap

Irish Country Road Source: Neil Tackaberry

You’ll know it when you see it. “From here to the gap” is a definitive distance that should be understood by all.

7. As wide as a gate

irish countryside Source: Neil Tackaberry

A standard gate, as defined by physics.

8. Just a shtone’s throw away

Meadowlands Source: Neil Tackaberry

Tourist: “Again, I will accept miles because I’m walking it.”

9. Only around the corner

On a distant Irish Road Source: Accidental Hedonist

Taking that distance at face value is a recipe for disaster.

They’re poor crayturs if they’re overhearing any these directions, really.

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About the author:

David Elkin

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