THE ANNUAL RITUAL that all car owners just can’t get enough of.
That’s right – the NCT. And there are nine specific horrors that every driver goes through:
1. Getting the car cleaner than it’s ever been to impress the tester
It’s not necessary (well, apart from making sure there’s isn’t half a field clinging to the chassis), but you couldn’t be making a show of yourself with empty bags of crisps and bottles on the ground. You’ve never seen the thing this clean.
2. Before you go, suddenly every document associated with the car has gone into a black hole
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3. The test will always be scheduled for an awkward time
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Oh, fantastic. An 8am start, when the moon is in the second quarter and Mercury’s in retrograde on the third Saturday of the month.
4. When you’re hit with a bill to get the car fixed up before you even take the test
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We’re not buying a car here, we simply want our NCT.
5. The irrational fear that something isn’t right on the morning of the test
You’ve had the car checked over, and you’ve done all your cleaning. Still, there remains a nagging feeling that you will fail in a blaze of glory.
6. Trying to come up with any advantage that will get you over the line
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7. The horrific moment where you sit in the centre, awaiting your fate
Just tell us the news. Please. This torture has gone on long enough.
8. When they call you in the back for a chat about things, you know everything is about to go bad
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9. Taking it really personally when you fail
It’s MY car. How could you fail it? *takes offence*
Ah, the NCT.
