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Dublin: 6 °C Saturday 15 December, 2018
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22 things every single Irish student has done on Erasmus

We KNOW you spent a week in bed.

AS MUCH AND all as you’d like to think that your Erasmus experience was a unique one, chances are it wasn’t.

Whether you spent it in Paris, Barcelona or Vienna, it’s highly likely your year abroad bears a striking similarity to every other Erasmus students’.

We’d also hazard a guess that this period saw you plumb the depths of what is generally considered, you know, ‘reasonable behaviour’.

not caring

Your geographical compass may have gotten an outing, but your moral compass upped and died.

Here are just a few things you will definitely recognise having done during your Erasmus, and listen, we’re not saying you’re proud of it, we’re just saying you did it.

1. Forced your visitors to spend an entire weekend in an Irish pub.

It wasn’t your intention, but queues to tourist attractions were wrecking heads, and after suggesting one pint to take the edge off, you guys never left.

2. Spent an entire week in bed.

You don’t know what happpened, but a productive week certainly didn’t.

sleep

3. Stolen your roommate’s food.

After realising that your city of choice closes down on Sundays, you were forced to help yourself to any food your room-mate wasn’t likely to notice.

4. Received a passive aggressive note from your room mate.

They did notice.

5. Existed solely on breakfast cereal for a week.

The roof of your mouth was ripped to shreds, but you couldn’t argue with the price.

cereal

6. Lied to your parents about what you needed money for.

What they don’t know can’t hurt them.

7. Spent a fortnight in bed.

The first one was a test run, and it turns out you liked it.

8. Found yourself speaking the language less and less.

Everyone replied to you in English, so you just gave up, right?

9. Secretly hated fellow Erasmus heads who refused to speak English.

Here’s your medal. Jeez.

10. Studied in preparation for a conversation with a bank teller.

You put more effort into this than your previous year’s exams, and you were damned if you were going to eff it up.

11. Had a very confusing conversation with a bank teller.

She didn’t stick to your internal script.

what is happening

12. Used the ‘I’m an Erasmus student’ to any lecturer who’d listen.

Ich bein Erasmus. Je suis Erasmus. Es toy Erasmus. They’re over you.

13. Cursed every lecturer who saw through your Erasmus-based lies.

They haven’t a heart between them.

thanks for nothing

14. Discovered a new snack food.

And lived on it for approximately one month.

15. Devoted an entire day to being cultural.

We mean, you weren’t a complete philistine.


16. Discovered a shortcut in your neighbourhood.

And then considered running for mayor.

17. Repeatedly counted your credits in an effort to do the bare minimum.

Finding a course that offered 10 ECTS, but only met once a month called for a celebratory fortnight in bed.

18. Realised the bare minimum still requires attendance.

And we know you weren’t above lurking outside a lecture hall just to get your name on the attendance sheet.


19. Told yourself next week would be different.

You just needed to have a little faith, that’s all.

20. Giggled nervously when next week wasn’t different.

Well, that was unexpected.

shit


21. Attempted to teach your roommates Irish.

Damn it if they think they’re the only exotic ones.

22. Spewed bare-faced lies to your home university’s International Office.

“To whom it concerns, I have been struggling to keep up with the requirements of my host university due to a number of personal …”

 

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