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Dublin: 10 °C Friday 22 February, 2019
Advertisement's Eurovision 2018 Analysis Part 2

We’ve analysed all the songs so you don’t have to.

EUROVISION IS FAST approaching which means it’s time we analysed each offering from our European neighbours and decide which are good are which shall be receiving nil points.

Having analysed the first 11 songs in part 1, we now move on to the next 11.

12.  Moldova – My Lucky Day – DoReDos

Source: Eurovision Song Contest/YouTube

Despite having a name that sounds like the Moldovan version of ‘Doritos’ Moldova have brought an upbeat little number to follow on from 3rd place last year. The video makes it look like it was shot in Offaly but it does come with a hat bigger than Melania’s recent ensemble if you can believe it.

13. Bulgaria – Bones – EQUINOX

Source: Eurovision Song Contest/YouTube

Am I particularly enthused about a song whose opening line is ‘Love is like a black hole, everything is dark’ ? No because it makes love sounds like a small Irish village when the power goes. Nevertheless the song has decent beat to it and there seems to be a nice lil Sia impersonation going on.

14. Spain – Tu Canción – Amaia y Alfred

Source: Eurovision Song Contest/YouTube

As one of the big five, Spain gets automatic entry. They’ve gone from a ballad which translates to ‘Your Song’ and they’ve hired the Spanish version of Shawn Mendes to sing it. I don’t know what the Spanish word for ‘sapfest’ is but I’ve found the video version anyway. Yawn.

15. Russia – I Won’t Break – Yulia Samoylova

Source: Eurovision Song Contest/YouTube

Russia weren’t in Eurovision last year as Yulia was banned from performing in Ukraine having performed in Crimea. Not to be deterred, Yulia is performing this year with this song about not breaking. For some reason a volcano appears in the middle of the video so I’m not sure if that’s a symbol for World War 3 but we’ll try not to read too much into it.

16. Montenegro – Inje – Vanja Radovanovic

Source: Eurovision Song Contest/YouTube

Montenegro have gone for the serious song sung entirely in Montenegrin which is fair enough but doesn’t exactly inspire much. On the bright side Vanja appears to fly for a second in the video which could make the live performance very interesting. Which would be nice.

17. Israel – TOY – Netta

Source: Eurovision Song Contest/YouTube

Israel’s entry this year is a bit of a banger despite having odd moments where Netta does a fantastic chicken impression. I do approve of the line ‘I’m not your toy, you stupid boy’ which is a line we could all live by to be honest. Nice little shoutout to Wonder Woman too which makes sense since Gal Gadot is also from Israel.

18. FY.R. Macedonia – Lost and Found – Eye Cue

Source: Eurovision Song Contest/YouTube

The speed of Macedonia’s entry varies so much that it’s actually confusing. It should go off way more than it does. The chorus is the best part of the song and it just goes downhill from there. Settle on one speed please.

19. Italy – Non Mi Avete Fatto Niente – Ermal Meta e Fabrizio Moro

Source: Eurovision Song Contest/YouTube

Another big 5 entry and another song focusing on a range of serious issues from the refugee crisis to the terror attack in Paris and war. The song itself was written after the Manchester bombing and is pretty emotional. It translates to ‘You haven’t done anything to me’.

20. Sweden – Dance You Off – Benjamin Ingrosso

Source: Eurovision Song Contest/YouTube

Benjamin was born in 1997 and basically sounds like the Swedish version of Justin Bieber. The song itself is quite catchy but it feels like Sweden are falling into a pattern of these very dancy songs with titles that don’t quite make sense. Is Benji challenging me to a dance off? In that jacket?

21. Germany – You Let Me Walk Alone – Michael Schulte

Source: Eurovision Song Contest/YouTube

This is basically a very sweet ballad from Michael about his dad who unfortunately died in 2005. When he won the German nomination he stood in front of a screen with loads of pictures of people and their dads so have a box of tissues on standby. What is with the big 5 singing songs that make us so emotional? I’m not able.

22. San Marino – Who We Are – Jessika (feat. Jenifer Brening)

Source: Eurovision Song Contest/YouTube

San Marino have entered the bog standard ‘love yourself’ song this year except to make it contemporary they have also added robots. They have also a female rapper which is actually lightyears ahead of the competition and they address Twitter trolls too? San Marino is in it to win it.

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About the author:

Rachel O'Neill

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