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Dublin: 10 °C Tuesday 7 February, 2023
# yo teach
15 essential facts of life for teachers in Ireland
It’s not all a doss, you know.

1. First of all, people automatically assume your job is a doss

If you had a euro for every time you heard someone describe teaching as “a handy job,” you’d be a millionaire.

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2. In fact, listening to people give out about the amount of holidays you get is part and parcel of the job

“Ye get some holidays, don’t you? Are ye ever in work? Haha.”

On a loop in your brain from now until the end of the time.

3. On paper, it might look like you clock in at 9 and head off at 4, but you know there’s so much more to it than that…

Lesson plans, supervision, staff meetings, extra-curricular activities… it’s not all teaching times tables, you know.

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4. Homework and exam corrections are the bane of your life

You’ve spent many a sunny evening correcting homework when you could have been in a beer garden.

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5. You’ve been known to keep the waking hours of a small child

“What time is it? 9pm? Off to bed, so.”

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6. Sometimes you’re really not in the mood to be happy-clappy

But you have to put on a brave face and give those children their Letterland worksheets.

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7. And God help you if you have a hangover

“Let’s play a game about who can stay quiet the longest, yeah?”

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8. You dread the day one of your students finds you on Facebook

That is, if it hasn’t already happened.

*changes name immediately*

9. Sometimes you hear yourself saying things like, “Girls, settle down” and you’re like…

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10. And now that you’re on the other side, you can appreciate how much you tormented your teachers when you were a kid

Only now as an adult in their position can you appreciate what absolute terrors kids are.

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11. It will never not be a little bit weird to hear kids call you “Miss ___” or “Mr. ____”

But likewise you will spend your whole life dodging the “What’s your first name?” question lest you earn yourself an unflattering nickname.

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12. It’s not all bad, though – sometimes you get a good laugh

Like when kids mix up Jesus and St. Patrick, for instance.

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13. And the gifts are always entertaining (if a little mortifying)

(Even if you sometimes wish you could tell all the students to give you wine.)

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14. When people say, “I don’t know *how* you work with kids all day,” you feel a little smug

 

“Damn straight, I’m a goddamn hero.”

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15. When all is said and done, though, you wouldn’t change it for the world

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