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Dublin: 10 °C Thursday 5 December, 2024

12 complicated feelings the world has about mayonnaise

The devil’s sauce.

MAYO IS A bit like marmite. It’s disgusting, and spreadable.

1. BUT, it’s an important topic that needs to be discussed

2. There’s no avoiding that creamy white substance

3. We all know its origins

4. The vital difference between garlic mayo and garlic sauce is hard to explain

NO. IT’S DIFFERENT.

5. It never seems to come in small measures

6. It never fails to go all over the face of the cretin eating it

Thanks, didn’t want to eat my lunch anyway.

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7. People always take it too far

8. You LIKE your sandwiches dry, OK?

9. Those who eat it with a spoon… WHY

10. Some people just can’t be spoken to

11. What about when it gets heated up by other items in the deli roll? WHAT THEN?

12. Basically, just think twice when you crack open that jar

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