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dear fifi

Dear Fifi: What's the f**king point?

Dear Fifi is’s resident advice columnist. Every Tuesday, she tries to help with one of your problems.


It’s the week of daylights savings time, which means the more awkward among us have been blessed from above with an ironclad conversation starter. These are weeks to savour. 

Got a problem you’d like to tell me about? That’s, like, my whole thing. Get at me here anonymously. (And to the person who sent me an especially nice message last week – thank you. It was very well timed.)


What’s the point?

Look: I hear ya.

Life is a real bitch sometimes. It can be hard to feel like there’s much point at all when things get particularly rough. As you’re no doubt aware, the larger point of life is frequently said to be doing good, or connections with others, or a sense of unity. That’s the so-called meaning of life. It’s unfortunate then that when we feel truly pointless, kindness can fail us, connections become frustration, isolation descends – nothing seems to work, nothing feels good or like it will again. That feeling, that’s the one that prompts us to ask: What’s the fucking point?  

We feel pointless at times when whatever usually sustains us disappears. The point is knowing that it – or something else just as good – will come back. Always. Knowing that will give you hope. If you have hope, you’ve got everything you need.

The world is frequently wonderful, and I think the point is remembering that, even (and perhaps especially) when it doesn’t seem that way. I suppose I’m talking about hope. Having hope is the point. If you have hope, nothing is truly pointless. Always look for hope. And you’ll always find it.

Nothing is for sure and everything can change without warning. At our lowest ebb, that might seem to compound how bleak we feel, but actually it’s the opposite. Something good can happen at any time. Repeat that. Something good can happen at any time! You’ll never know when, but you can know for sure that it eventually will – no matter how far away it seems.

I don’t know who is reading this sentence right now, but I’m talking to you. Yes, you. Right now, reading this. I’m talking to you. I don’t know what situation you’re in or what is troubling you, whether it weighs heavily or only niggles, whether it’s been with you for long or just arrived. But I do know – no matter who you are, no matter what it is – that you can get through it. I have faith in you, and I don’t even know you.

You can overcome anything. Something good will happen. I know that. All you need is hope. And I believe that’s the point.


Want to talk?

Confess a story, ask for help or just shout into the void for a bit and see if that helps. All welcome. Anonymity totally guaranteed always. 

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