1. When you heard someone else giving out about “Mass” you were just like
2. Because obviously you called it Service and there were so many hymns
SING IT.
3. Sunday School was a weekly tradition where you excused yourself to head off to your own little kids room
4. You got seriously jealous when your Catholic friends raked in cash for their first communion
5. While you had to wait years for your confirmation and all you got was a prayer book
6. There were tray bake events in the Church just because baking seemed to be a HUGE deal
7. There was a good chance you heard these pronounced as “scons” regularly enough
8. There were always a few “gas” sash jokes thrown around for the craic when people heard you were Protestant
“No, orange is not my favourite colour.”
9. When you were really young you just didn’t know the difference between all the Protestant denominations
Church of Ireland, Methodist, Presbyterian. Huh?
10. When you heard people going on about the saints you hadn’t a breeze what they were on about
“Who dat?”
11. There’s a good chance you didn’t have a Gaeilge version of your surname so you just threw on a fada for the craic
12. Having your “Sunday best” clothes and trying not to ruin them before you’d even got to Church
13. Getting to skip out prayers if you went to a Catholic school was only glorious
14. Having to wait until you had done your confirmation to head up for communion – and even then you were too young for the wine
Fine Church of Ireland quality cracker it is then.
15. The first time you saw a kid with ash on his forehead it was so very confusing
Why? What?
16. And finally… that feeling of settling in to Service and knowing you were in for a good 45-minute-long sermon
Even better when you’d brought along your presents on Christmas morning for entertainment.