YEP, IT’S THAT time of year again when you find yourself shackled to the toilet roll and with your eyes permanently sealed shut.
With hayfever season in full swing and Jean Byrne out hand-counting the pollen, sufferers everywhere are struggling.
1. … Like having to plug one nostril while you sit and think about the time you had a fully working respiratory system.
Breathing? I don’t know her.
2. The constant need to rub your eyes.
… Even though you know it will inevitably make it worse. Constantly seeing stars is nice though, I suppose. Must be how Eyal from Love Island feels.
3. When you forget to take your antihistamine in the morning and realise your day is automatically f*cked.
Well, that’s it. All you can do now is wait it out.
4. … Or when you double up and become the human equivalent of Snorlax.
Non-drowsy MY ASS.
5. You’ve heard of every remedy. Literally. Every single one.
You’re *this* close to shoving your hands into nettles. Desperate times, etc. etc. …
6. You’re sick of being tagged in articles about gin can apparently make your hayfever better.
But what about the hangover?! That’s a double-edged sword.
Although …
7. Your mam calls you regularly to inform you of the pollen count.
“It’s the worst it’s been in 16 years!” Fairly sure you said that last year too, Mam.
8. … And to make sure you’re washing your sheets regularly “to stop the pollen build-up”.
9. You secretly pray for rain while your friends are gagging for a bit of sun.
Let this BASTARDING POLLEN BE WASHED AWAY FOREVER.
