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Dublin: 12 °C Friday 6 December, 2019
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10 things that would happen if Scream was set in Ireland

It would be a whole lot less spooky.

SCREAM IS THE ultimate teen slasher movie. But what if it was set in Ireland, instead of Woodsboro, California?

1. First off, Drew Barrymore’s character would’ve never picked up the phone to the killer

Excuse me? Irish people a) hate the phone and b) would never pick up an unknown caller.

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2. Also, the good knives would never be left out on the table like that

Put them in the press, for the visitors.

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3. No one would check noises

Be grand, it’s just a draught.

 

4. Sidney would be called Sadhbh, and you better believe she’d know if her boyfriend was the killer

Here, what’s the deal with that ghostface mask Amazon order?
JESUS SADHBH, can’t I live?

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5. School would be suspended WAY sooner

 

6. Gale Weathers would be loosely based on Teresa Mannion because Teresa Mannion feels no fear

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7. Absolutely no one would’ve went to Stu Macher’s party

There’s a bleedin’ killer on the run lads. Stay indoors. You saw how we acted over a few fake clowns.

GMNVQ Source: Popkey

8. And the house would’ve been way too small to go on a murder spree for that long

Sure you’d have little time to hide or escape in a semi-d.

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9. Dewey would be a garda fresh out of Templemore

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10. Ghostface would be caught in a jiffy

They’d be pulled over on a minor offence by the gards and that would be that.

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