1. You’re welcomed to IKEA Hell the moment you see all the car parks near the door are completely full
You know, at that moment, it’s going to be one of those IKEA trips.
2. Even though you know exactly what you want, you’ll still walk around the full showroom
“We’ll just have a look.”
3. Which means you will inevitably end up buying 64% more things than originally planned
On the way: “We’re only getting things on this list.”
Inside: “Ah, sure.”
4. The showroom misleadingly offers you a glimpse of what your life could be like if you had unlimited wealth and could spend every day in IKEA
5. Trying to skip through to the market hall where you actually pick up things is a futile exercise, and you’re kidding yourself if you think it will happen
JUST FOLLOW THE ARROWS, PLEASE.
6. IKEA Hell is the place that a pre-agreed budget goes to die
“I thought we were only going to spend €100.”
“But these bowls that we don’t need are only €2 each.”
7. You soon realise that IKEA is specially-designed to make couples, friends and families have petty arguments for hours on end
“We really should have got those spoons.”
And then, based on said argument:
8. You have to go back to get something and fight against the tide of shoppers moving in the correct way
9. It’s only when you’re coming to the end of the actual shopping that you realise how much unnecessary sh*t you’ve piled into the trolley
But given each item costs €1, you leave it be.
10. Which means that you get to your car with more things than could possibly fit – and putting them in is like a novelty game of car Tetris
11. So your journey home is the most uncomfortable one of all time – most likely with a pre-packed table sticking into you throughout
Thanks, IKEA.
You’ve ruined our lives with your quality products and insane value. We hope you’re happy.
