Dublin: 13 °C Monday 20 March, 2023
# Prom Night
22 things we’ll still have, even if the ECB takes everything
These are Ireland’s REAL assets.

SO THE GOVERNMENT has inked a new deal with the European Central Bank.

Regardless of its merits, it will see our debts stretch long into the future.

So here at, we’ve compiled a list of consolations. No matter what the ECB takes, Ireland will always have these things:

1. The ‘Ah Here Leave Ir Ouh’ lady

Relevant to any situation. Frankly, we’re not sure why she wasn’t brought out in negotiations with the ECB. But we’ll always have her for important national moments like this:


2. Our unique signage system

Image courtesy of Gemma Sherlock

3. Muff, Co Donegal

Nuff said.


4. Things that are small, and things that are far away

And a way to tell the difference.


5. Chocolate Tayto

Is there any other country in the world where someone would voluntarily put chocolate together with cheese-and-onion crisps?

You can take our trees. But you can NEVER. Take. Our CHOCOLATE TAYTO.

Pic and recipe via Wholesome Ireland

6. Jean Byrne

We love you, Jean.

Screengrabs via YouTube/rte

7. These seven seconds of video


Possibly the most perfect seven seconds ever committed to mobile phone camera.

8. Our unique entrepreneurial spirit

9. This law enforcement vehicle

Stick that up your Interpol.

Pic: Pat Reilly

10. Skyline Scaffolding

Do they have vans like this in Brussels? No. We’re going to say no.

11. Macaroon bars

Hey, rest of Europe! Over there eating your pralines and your Lindt. Thinking you’re all that.

Have you got Macaroon bars? No, you haven’t.

12. Fashion advice from this man

Stylish. As.


13. Breakfast rolls

Look at those saps across the water, eating their fry off a plate.


14. Aengus MacGrianna


15. Our memories of Italia ’90

It may never happen again. It probably won’t. But, I mean, REMEMBER WHEN THAT HAPPENED?

YouTube/Denis Hughes

16. Our own word for ‘cupboard’


“It’s in the press, Mario. We keep all our money in the PRESS. Oh, you don’t understand? Well, you can’t have it then.”

17. The world’s bravest, coldest models

Do they fear weather? Do they fear ridicule? No. They fear NOTHING.

They could also double as a useful army in times of national need.

Georgia Salpa and Nadia Forde, bravely promoting a pumpkin festival (Photocall Ireland)

18. Johnny Logan

To hold us when required.


19. These all-purpose slogans

Seen here baffling some Euro-area riot police.


20. A top-class education

Image: Audrey Cunningham

21. Coppers

See yiz there after the promissory note deal.

Copper Face Jacks Facebook

22. ...And this.

Landscape photo via Shutterstock


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