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Dublin: 5 °C Friday 19 April, 2019
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10 things all Irish people secretly aspire to

Having Dermot Bannon decorate your house <3

IRISH PEOPLE ARE all guilty of indulging in the odd daydream.

“What would you do if you won the Lotto?” is one of life’s great philosophical questions.

But what do Irish people fantasise about?

1. Installing a Stira in your house

gaystira Source: StiraNordigo/YouTube

Once upon a time, a fold-up stairs to the attic was the epitome of Irish glam.

You’ll be delira with your stira, indeed.

2. Winning Blackboard Jungle swag for your school

blackboard Source: YouTube

There wasn’t a secondary school student in the country that didn’t want to triumph and win that mini bus.

3. Getting to spin the wheel on Winning Streak

Imagine the little ball landing on €250,000.

4. Having Dermot Bannon redecorate your house

dermot Source: RTÉ

It’s what you think about every week when Room to Improve is on, as you look around the house and take mental note of everything that needs doing up.

5. Being able to afford a hotel room for Electric Picnic

glamour Source: divatox/Tumblr

Sure, you pretend that camping is what “makes” it, but you know damned well that what you really want is a bed to sleep in.

6. Getting the driveway gravelled

Look at how smooth it is.

7. Nabbing a ticket for the Toy Show

merrychristmas

And being able to rub it in everyone’s face down in the pub.

Bliss.

8. Being at a party where there’s a Ferrero Rocher pyramid 

ferrero Source: palimpest2011/YouTube

And being too afraid to take one and ruin its beauty.

9. Getting to say your piece on Claire Byrne Live and impressing the whole country with your eloquence and clarity of thought

giphy (11) Source: alexanderhamiltonithebottom/Tumblr

The whole country nodding in agreement with you and muttering, “She’s dead right.”

Your time to shine.

10. Being so wealthy/successful that others begrudge your success

haters Source: teen.com

Thus completing the circle of begrudgery.

Don’t hate me ’cause you ain’t me, etc.

10 little things that will always put the fear of God in any Irish person > 

10 everyday struggles all Irish girls can relate to >

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About the author:

Amy O'Connor

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