Dublin: 9 °C Friday 8 December, 2023

13 Christmas commandments every Irish person should follow

Listen up.

1. Thou shalt not put empty wrappers back in the Roses tin.

Throw them in the bin, you filthy animals.

CVoNrZJW4AAT_LO julie_luckman / Twitter julie_luckman / Twitter / Twitter

2. Thou shalt not horse into the “good” biscuits without your Mam’s permission.

They are for visitors. Have a fig roll instead.


3. Thou shalt not brag on social media about having your Christmas shopping done on December 9th or whatever.

At least pretend that you’ve “still got loads” to do like everyone else.

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4. Thou shalt not remind co-workers of that absolutely hilarious thing they did at the Christmas party

Let bygones be bygones.

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5. Thou shalt participate in Fairytale of New York singalongs after December 21st

Once Christmas weeks arrive, it’s rude not to belt, “THE BOYS OF THE NYPD CHOIR STILL SINGING GALWAY BAY” with everyone else.

shane RhinoUK / YouTube RhinoUK / YouTube / YouTube

6. Thou shalt not hassle other pub customers while on your 12 Pubs of Christmas night out

Have your fun, but please don’t spend the night hounding eeveryone else about whether that seat is free. (It wasn’t an hour ago, so why would it be free now?)

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7. Thou shalt be polite when you decline mince pie and Christmas pudding

Don’t launch into spiels about how much you “can’t stand” them.

A simple “No, thank you” will suffice.

mincepie Flickr Flickr

8. Thou shalt not spend more than the agreed sum on your Secret Santa gift and make everyone else look bad


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9. Thou shalt pretend you love your Secret Santa gift even it’s a crock of shite

“A funny mug — just what I wanted!”

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10. Thou shalt take a bit of turkey home with you when you’re leaving your Mam’s house

Ah go on, you’ll have some in a sandwich when you get in this evening.

turk Flickr Flickr

11. Thou shalt not act like you’re too cool to wear a Christmas cracker hat

Nobody is too cool to wear a Christmas cracker hat.

Especially not you.

cracker Flickr Flickr

12. Thou shalt always buy your child a Selection Box — regardless of how old they are

It’s not Christmas without one.

13. Thou shalt stick a “Santa Stop Here” sign in the window


download (1) Flickr Flickr

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