RECENTLY, WE HEARD all the secrets Irish girls will never tell us.
Now, it’s the lads’ turn:
1. We secretly enjoy carrying things from one place to another and being useful
Oh, we’ll groan before it needs to be done, no doubt about it.
But deep down the game of trying to lift all the shopping from the car to the house is one go will be tackled with relish.
2. That we have no clue how to fix simple things
iPad broken? “Here give it to me, I’ll just try something.”
*makes everything worse*
We’ll never admit to just not having a clue.
3. The contents of the lads’ Whatsapp group
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We couldn't find this Tweet
“What are you chatting about there?”
“Ah, nothing, just s***e”
4. That men coming in to do jobs in the house make us very uncomfortable
We look all relaxed when offering them tea and having the craic, but inside we are dying from awkwardness and a sense of failure.
5. That we all think that gym/yoga gear should be acceptable in the bars of Ireland
We’re all just waiting for the day when society says it’s OK.
6. Those really old boxers we own hold sentimental value
They’ve been around longer than some of our best friends. Our excuse for not throwing them out is “can’t be bothered” but the love goes deeper than that.
7. The 53 receipts in our oversized wallet are actually meaningless
We’ll tell people they have a purpose but they really don’t. Throwing them away? Not a chance.
8. Sometimes we’re not actually supporting any team that is playing
We’ll still watch and give the appearance that we are, though.
9. We spend longer in the jacks than is needed just so we can relax
It’s weird.
10. We’ll never have a use for those ancient, battered runners
But “they’ll come in handy one day” as they sit, festering in the corner.
No need to throw out those classics, we say publicly.
11. Most of the time what we are thinking about is something completely random
It’s not often philosophical or important. It’s more likely to be absolute nonsense, not worthy of repeating to anyone.
12. We secretly like it when you wear makeup
Amongst the many esteemed lads sampled for this panel, this one got a universal thumbs up.
It’s not our place to say though, so we just think it.
13. We never mastered how to take off a bra
Our secret shame.
We’ll fumble around back there like we are experts but throw a different make at us and we’re 100% stumped. Once again.
14. Tell us we are good in bed, and you have our loyalty for life
We have no problems with blatant lies when they boost our egos.
