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Dublin: 9 °C Tuesday 19 March, 2024
milkbottle white

10 problems only people with Irish skin must face

Pale and interesting. NO.

IRISH SKIN IS really just code for pale skin. We all must suffer.

1. You’re literally white

It’s a special tinge of milk that just won’t go away.

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Finding a porcelain or ivory shade of make-up is an endless treasure hunt.

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2. And everyone looks better with a tan

A NATURAL one, may we add. A bold statement, but unless you have the perfect rosy red colouring, a healthy bronze tan immediately ups your glow.

Tweet by @Jeannine Healy Jeannine Healy / Twitter Jeannine Healy / Twitter / Twitter

3. Fake tan is an evil necessity

The smell, the streaks, the effort, and all to look a boiled tinge of orange. We can’t cry or go out in the rain (which is, always).

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It’s like our lives are one massive game of ‘skin disease or bad tan?’

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4. Those with sallow skin are practically bullied

THIS ONE only has to look at the sun and he gets a bit of colour. Us? We turn into a human lobster.

To rub it in, they’ll constantly ask you to compare arms when they come home from holidays.

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5. You bruise like a peach

The colours just show up on a white canvas that little bit better. It makes waking up after a particularly rough night like someone is trying to illustrate you.

Tweet by @Sammy McGowan Sammy McGowan / Twitter Sammy McGowan / Twitter / Twitter

6. You can’t wear a bunch of colours

Really bright colours are better suited to tanned skin. Neon yellow, burnt orange…. no.

Tweet by @emmeline. emmeline. / Twitter emmeline. / Twitter / Twitter

7. You literally glow on hot days

Like a damn vampire.

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And it burns, it burns so much.

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8. Your legs literally turn a shade of blue if you get too cold

At least it’s a brief departure from white.

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9. You get freckles in the sun, but are milky white during winter

You can’t have it BOTH WAYS world.

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10. Flash is your mortal enemy

Bye bye face.

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Ireland is suffering with collective sunburn this morning>

8 reasons putting on make-up is a pain in the hoop>

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