Dublin: 1 °C Saturday 2 December, 2023
Irish Abroad

11 things that cause Irish people distress when they're abroad


1. When the hotel/café you’re in doesn’t have “normal” tea

“A cup of Barry’s or Lyon’s wouldn’t go astray now,” you tut to yourself.

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2. When you realise bartenders expect tips

“So, I pay for my drink… and then I also leave a tip?”

3. When you read ‘biscuits’ on a menu and they actually mean scones

At least ‘biscuits and gravy’ doesn’t refer to custard creams covered in Bisto, right?

4. Trying to apply enough sunscreen while also making sure you come back with a “bit of a colour”

If Joanne in Accounts doesn’t compliment your tan, this whole holiday will have been a waste. 


5. Avoiding the dreaded “red peely” nose

Damn it, why can’t we

6. Figuring out what the hell a corn dog is

Is it like a battered sausage? Is it a hot dog? SOMEONE EXPLAIN.

7. Trying to locate an Irish bar when there’s a match on

Ireland are playing South Africa in the rugby, you say? Time to trek off and try find a decent Irish bar to watch it, so.


8. Finding somewhere to eat that will suit your Dad’s very Irish tastebuds

All your Dad wants is some steak. None of these “tapas”.

9. When you go to the toilet and you’re confronted with this


10. Having to completely change the way you speak so other people can understand your accent

11. Smiling and gritting your teeth when people assume you’re from England/Scotland

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