YESTERDAY THE VISAS for working in Canada were snapped up in a ridiculous 12 minutes – showing once again our enthusiasm for heading across the Atlantic.
But what can us Irish expect out there? Well, there are some outrageous and chilling revelations for all those that make it:
1. Horrible tax gets added to everything at the till
“Oh, this is $2. Perfect. I have a $2 coin on me.”
“That will be $2.25.”
2. Finding out what Poutine actually tastes like
You’ve heard about it, but you never really knew.
We can’t describe it, you’ll just have to go there and find out.
3. Being an absolute tourist for the first couple of weeks is OK
House? Job? Real life? No. Sights need to be seen. But the fear of real life catching up with you will gnaw away until you’re a crumbling wreck frantically checking Craigslist.
4. You can spot other Irish people a mile away – it’s like a sixth sense
You just know that they’re Irish – even when they’re not in full county colours. A sly nod from both of you acknowledges this fact.
5. Your accent holds a majesty and awe that is very unexpected
^everyone, when they hear it for the first time.
6. ATMs charge you and you can’t deal with the frustration
If you use any other ATM apart from your own bank then they’ll whack a $3 fee on. You miss Ireland and the carefree way you could withdraw cash from anywhere in the country for nothing.
7. Canadian apartments come with a disgraceful lack of furniture
Furnished apartments are just not a thing – you’re told as you arrive.
8. Experienced Irish in Canada will constantly tell you how expensive everything is
They’ve been there six months and they know all and see all.
“The prices over here, I tell ya, something else.”
9. Tipping is the inevitable price you pay for getting a drink
There is no exceptional service needed. If the bartender opens a bottle of beer for you, you’d better give them an extra dollar or two. It’s the (unwritten) rule of Canadian boozing.
10. Depending on when you go, the weather can be outrageous
Pitch up in summer in some places and it’s stiflingly hot. Arrive in winter and prepare your finest Good Jacket for the cold months ahead.
11. And finally, you will miss those classic Irish products you loved so much
“Sorry, what? You’ve never heard of Meanies?”
Some specialist stores have Irish stuff but the effort of going usually rules them out. You’ll end up munching Ruffles on a daily basis.
