Dublin: 11 °C Sunday 26 May, 2024
some dose

13 very Irish stages of having a dose

[Karen from Mean Girls voice] I’m sick.

1. Starting to feel a little bit sick, but putting it down to a lack of sleep or ‘anaemia’

“Yeah, no, I think I’m a bit anaemic. That’s what this is.”

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2. Going out on the razz and trying to drink through the pain

It’s just a head cold, after all. Nothing a few glasses of wine and keeping your coat on outside can’t sort.

wine Flickr Flickr

3. And feeling like boiled shite the next day


accurate Accurate representation of how you feel. Flickr Flickr

4. Downing these like there’s no tomorrow


5. Finding yourself out and about without a tissue and wishing you were the type of person to carry around little packets of tissues on your person at all times

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6. Sitting at your desk and feeling very sorry for yourself as you Google “cold cures”


7. Calling your Mam for much-needed counsel because you’re really a big baby

There’s nothing quite like a dose to make you revert back to being a four-year-old. “Do you have a cold, love? I hear that’s going around.”  You find this strangely comforting.

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8. Eating the head off her when she suggests that maybe you should go to a doctor

Do I look like I’m made of money?

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9. And thanking her when she gives important Mam Medical Advice like “drink loads of water” and “get yourself to the chemist and buy some Vicks”


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10. Talking incessantly about how bad of a dose you have

And snorting/coughing just to really hammer home how congested you are.

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11. Finding a fellow sniffles sufferer and getting competitive with them about who has the worse dose

“I’ve been through two boxes.”

“Oh yeah? Well I went through a nine-pack of toilet roll… before breakfast this morning.”


12. Carefully applying moisturiser/foundation to your nose to cover the redness and ease with the dryness

13. And doing this important research when the weekend rolls around…

lem Digital Spy Digital Spy

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