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Dublin: 15 °C Saturday 4 July, 2020

Are You Suffering From Jannui?

January + ennui = Jannui.

Source: Bri

IT’S JANUARY. The weather is awful. Everything we ever looked forward to is gone.

All that’s left is a sense of boredom – ennui, if you will – of a very special kind. Really, there’s only one word for it: jannui.

Have you fallen victim to it? Take this quiz to find out.

1. When was your last paycheck?
A week ago
A fortnight ago

Many many moons ago, in that time the old ones call the Before Time
Literally cannot remember
2. Pick a spirit dog.
3. Which of these most closely describes your work lunch?
Healthy salad I made as part of my new year diet plan
Leftover takeaway from the weekend

Sad sandwich
Cup-A-Soup I bought years ago and found while desperately searching the kitchen for food scraps
4. Choose the image that best sums up your feelings when paying for something on a credit card.
5. Your social life this month mostly consists of...
Cinema. What's on? Doesn't matter.

Oh God.
Leave me. Save yourselves.
6. How many colds have you had since January 1?
One or none

Constant sniffles that never quite turn into a cold
Endless colds, nose a giant swollen blotch, can't remember the last time my sinuses tasted freedom
7. If you put your life through a Nutribullet right now, approximately what colour would the results be?

8. Hey, remember Christmas?

F**k you.
Answer all the questions to see your result!
You scored out of !
You are DEFINITELY suffering from Jannui
Listlessness, lethargy, empty bank account... all the symptoms are there. Take yourself for treatment immediately.
Share your result:
You scored out of !
You're grand, actually.
Somehow you made it through the last few weeks without emptying your bank account and your last reserves of hope. Congratulations!
Share your result:
You scored out of !
Oh no. This is one of the worst cases we've ever seen.
You have a severe case of Jannui. Report to a doctor / the pub /your mammy for immediate treatment. You should also warn others lest they become infected.
Share your result:

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About the author:

Michael Freeman

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