LAST WEEKEND JORDAN Catalano won an Oscar.
Okay, okay so it was Jared Leto, but to people (mostly women) of a certain age he will always be Jordan Catalano, the brooding love interest from nineties TV show My So-Called Life.
Leto played Catalano alongside Claire Danes’ Angela Chase in the show which only survived one season, but is fondly remembered to this day.
It’s also responsible for a generation of Irish women shoehorning the word “like” into their vocabulary. Like.
Here are some of the most important things nineties Jared Leto/Jordan Catalano taught us.
1. The importance of leaning
Part of Catalano’s charm was his ability to lean against things (school lockers mostly) and look damn good doing it.
2. Whatever happens, happens
3. Wallet chains were very important
And shoelaces as choker necklaces, and check shirts and baggy jeans.
And long sleeved t-shirts under short sleeved t-shirts. Critically important.
4. Never assume anything
When Jordan sang his tune ‘Red’ for Angela Chase she assumed it was about her and her hair colour of choice.
It was not about her. It was about his car. Ground, we are ready to be swallowed.
5. Eye gazing is very important
In fact, Leto is still a master of this.
6. Don’t have sex with your sort-of-girlfriend’s best friend
When Jordan slept with Angela’s drunk best friend Rayanne the collective response was:
7. Go easy on the tongue
Gob lobbing is an artform Jared/Jordan.
8. Listening to the Violent Femmes helps to get over Jordan Catalano
Blister in the Sun, to be specific. Essential for overcoming Catalano heartbreak.
9. Public hand holding means EVERYTHING
When this happened on Network 2 sometime in 1995 well-built teenagers across Ireland SCREAMED and ran to the phone to discuss immediately.
It simply couldn’t wait until little break at school the following day.
