SINGER KEHLANI ANNOUNCED her pregnancy over the weekend.
The singer said on Instagram: “I’ve always been very open with you all about my personal adventures & accomplishments… This was the HARDEST to hide.
“If you know me, you know I’ve dreamed about motherhood since i was very young. When asked what my goals are, it’s always the idea of a big healthy happy family & whatever comes along is a plus.
“I am so honored to be given this gift by spirit, creator, and an amazing partner whom I trust with my body and life.”
It was a surprise for some fans of the 23 year-old, mostly because her relationship with her baby daddy isn’t of public knowledge. However, some couldn’t get their heads around it because Kehlani identifies as queer.
A minority thought it appropriate to react as follows: “Kehlani is pregnant…….. who’s the baby father??? I thought she was…… I have so many questions that need answers,” was how one Twitter user put it.
Model Slick Woods was met with similar incredulity when she announced her pregnancy while also identifying as queer.
If you’re the kind of person whose first thought is to question how a woman can be pregnant when she’s attracted to women, you’re actively participating in bi-erasure.
Bisexual erasure or bisexual invisibility is the tendency to ignore, remove, falsify, or reexplain evidence of bisexuality in history, academia, the news media, and other primary sources. At its most extreme, it can also mean believing that bisexuality isn’t a thing.
What may seem like a harmless (and poor) joke is actually an attempt at undermining Kehlani’s queer identity. Her – or any queer woman – being pregnant doesn’t take away from her queer identity, as much as it doesn’t make her “more straight”. Contrary to what’s on the timeline, the Venn diagrams of ‘identifying as queer’ and ‘wanting children’ do intersect. You’d think that would be common knowledge at this point, but alas …
It’s likely that most people making memes are doing so not from a place of utter ignorance, but simply for clout. That said, they’re still doing more harm by encouraging the harmful stereotypes that continue to haunt those who identify as queer. You can not – and should not – place expectations on someone’s sexuality.
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