IT’S KIM KARDASHIAN’S birthday. One half of Kimye turns 33 today. Another year older, another year wiser. Here are a few of the greatest moments of worldly wisdom we have been graced with over the years:

1. Mattresses are indestructable

2. Know who your friends are

3. Make goals as vague as possible

4. Velour is SO YESTERDAY

5. 40 is the deadline for having a baby the natural way

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6. Emotional baggage is grand once it's designer

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7. A 72-day marriage can be totally legit

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8. Bad make-up is literally the worst thing ever

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9. Body image is all about the jean

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10. Haters are just jealous of your sweeet Bentley

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Happy Birthday Kimmy, we're laughing with you.

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