SO YOU’RE GOING out, on a school night. Bold.
Just try to recognise these lies you may tell yourself.
1. I won’t go out
Why are you out then, eh?
2. I’ll go for one
Never, in the history of the universe, has an Irish person gone for one and had just the one.
3. I can’t go before my round
You totally could, these people owe you at least 10 drinks from nights gone by.
4. They’ll pay me back
Sure. Sure…
5. I’ll get the last bus
You’ll be closer to getting the first bus in the morning than the last one tonight, don’t cod yourself.
6. Ah sure tomorrow won’t be too bad
Tomorrow will now most likely be the most stressful day you’ve ever had in work. Enjoy it with that hangover, breathe it in.
7. I’m not even drunk
Your dodgy solo dancing in the middle of a midweek empty dancefloor begs to differ.
8. I’ve made a commitment now, I might as well stay
LEAVE. For the love of God, GO.
9. I’m just going to the loo
You’re legging it home, don’t lie. About time.
10. This kebab will make me feel better in the morning
No it won’t. It may provide some soakage, but you really don’t need those cheese chips on the side.
