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Dublin: 17 °C Saturday 13 July, 2024
tell me lies

12 lies you were told as a child and totally believed

Ah, the innocence of youth.

1. That you could tell if someone liked butter by waving a buttercup under their chin

Why this information was important, we’ll never know.

butterc Flickr Flickr

2. That if you spun around three times and flushed a toilet, you’d see a nun’s face

“I SAW HER!” – every child, lying through his/her teeth

nun Flickr Flickr

3. That lying turned your tongue black

STICK OUT YOUR TONGUE.

tongue Flickr Flickr

4. That eating your crusts made your hair curly

CmieJ1VUEAAo9fW Aysha / Twitter Aysha / Twitter / Twitter

5. That eating carrots would protect your eyesight

You’ve never seen a rabbit wearing glasses, have you?

carrots Flickr Flickr

6. That it was desperately important to leave out Guinness for Santa Claus

It gives him sustenance and energy for the long night, you see.

guine Flickr Flickr

7. That if you swallowed orange or apple pips, a tree would grow inside you

apple Flickr Flickr

8.  That thunder was just the sound of God moving his furniture around

Just moving the couch and armchairs around, don’t worry your pretty little head about it.

couch Flickr Flickr

9. That your goldfish/cat/dog had just gone to the farm

goldf Flickr Flickr

10. That if the ice-cream van was playing music, it meant that he had run out of ice-cream

A likely story.

Capture Flickr Flickr

 

11. That your Mam knew someone who was ‘never the same’ after using a ouija board

In hindsight, you doubt that there was anyone in Carlow who had a bad experience using a ouija board, but sure look, some lies are necessary.

oui Flickr Flickr

12. That the guards dealt with bold children

“If you don’t behave yourself, we’re calling the guards.”

Or, if there wasn’t a guard around, any man would do. “I’m telling That Man if you don’t stop your messing.”

gua Flickr Flickr

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