Dublin: 7 °C Wednesday 26 January, 2022

15 lies you tell yourself every day

“Tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies…”

 1. “I’m getting up now once I count backwards from 20.”

lyingbed Source: Flickr

“20… 19… 18… okay, I’m going to just start again. I messed that up. 20… 19…18… ”

2. “I’ll get up once they finish saying what’s in today’s papers on Morning Ireland.”

Cue you running around the house at 7.42am with approximately 12 minutes to get ready.

3. “Ah yeah, my hair is grand. No need to wash it today.”

hairgrand Source: Flickr


4. “There won’t be much traffic. I have plenty of time.”

traffic Source: Flickr

Sure, the kids might be back in school and it might be a Thursday, but you’ll still trick yourself into believing that there’ll magically be no traffic today.

5. “I have enough petrol to last me another day. I can definitely hold off on getting it.”

kSrc1or Source: Imgur

It’s called “the edge” and you’re living on it.

6.”I’m going to be really good and only have one cup of coffee today.”

cuppa Source: Flickr


7. “Actually, I’ve read that having three cups of coffee in the space of two hours is actually healthy and prolongs your life expectancy, so…”

giphy (17) Source: Giphy


8. “I’m just going to take one… last… look at Twitter and Facebook now and then that’s me done for the day.”

twitter Source: Flickr

*closes tabs*

Three minutes later.

*types “twitter” into the search bar and before you know where you are, you’re back on Twitter*

9. “I’m going to go for a run after work, so I can get this baby can of Pringles for my lunch.”

#pringles ..! Source: tatan.l

*stuffs face*

10. “Ugh, the clouds look a bit grey, so there’s actually no point in going for a run unless I want to get drenched and catch pneumonia.”

grey Source: Flickr

You’re just looking out for your health, really.

11. “Sure, I might be eating a frozen pizza for dinner this evening, but I’m going to eat something really healthy tomorrow.”

Am I the only one around here that organizes the pepperoni on my frozen pizza before putting it in the oven? Source: Imgur


12. “Oh, I might watch that important-looking documentary I taped a few weeks ago.”

citizenfour-1024 Source: HBO

13.  ”Actually, no, I better watch First Dates otherwise it will be everywhere tomorrow and I’ll have nothing to discuss with my colleagues.”

download (3) Source: Channel 4

Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.

14. “I’m going to go to bed at 10pm tonight and I’m not going to watch Netflix or get sucked into Vincent Browne or anything…”


15. “No, but seriously, I’m going to change my whole lifestyle tomorrow. I’m going to get up early, eat avocados and read all those books I’ve been meaning to read for the last six years.”

Just won the avocado lottery! Source: Imgur

But first, I’m just going to watch one more episode of The Mindy Project. It’s okay to go to bed at 12.30am, isn’t it?

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About the author:

Amy O'Connor

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