Dublin: 7 °C Saturday 16 January, 2021

17 essential facts of life for people in long term relationships

In for the long haul.

1. Proper clothes are only necessary when you are leaving the house

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You ‘re hardly trying to impress them anymore with fancy outfits just for the gaff – and the comfort levels are off the charts.

2. You are now well aware that they go to the toilet and have probably seen them do it many, many times

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Number ones, anyway.

3. You now mostly text about mundane household activities and what to get in the shop on the way home


And it’s very satisfying.

4. Your side of the bed is permanent and can’t be changed

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5. And when your other half isn’t there it’s a weird sensation

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You can spread out a little more, but there’s something slightly off about the whole thing.

6. At one point – you don’t know exactly when – farting in front of each other was deemed acceptable

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It’s no longer a major catastrophe.

7. There’s a good chance your nicknames for each other have got a little out of control

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They’ve evolved over the years into a different language that nobody else can understand – because they never hear it.

8. You start feeling like you deserve extra credit for doing basic chores around the house

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“Did you… see that the fridge has been cleaned?”

*please heap praise on me*

9. There are certain TV shows where it’s just not cool to go on a solo mission and watch a rake of episodes yourself

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And if you do, you’ll just have to sit through them again while they catch up. As a punishment.

10. You’re glad that your days of flirting and shifting are behind you

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11. You now have a partner in crime on nights out

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You can share a mountain of food after and it’s actually lovely.

12. But you have also MASTERED the art of staying in and doing nothing


Experts at this stage.

13. You can recite your “how did you meet?” story as well as the chorus of Joxer at this stage

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Over the years it’s been brought up so often it’s inevitable.

14. So many of your conversations are laced with inside jokes and phrases

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But only when you’re alone because you’re not SAPS.

15. You’re actually so far beyond interacting with each other publicly on social media


^not any more.

Leave that for the newbies.

16. You roll your eyes at the little things they do that annoy you

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17. Because you love them so damn much

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More 11 of the hardest struggles of dating in Dublin>

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About the author:

David Elkin

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