AFTER LAST WEEK’S episode, writer Stuart Carolan warned Love/Hate fans that things are going to get a whole lot worse for the gang. He was very right.
Here’s what happened…
1. Patrick ups security and Nidge plans to whack Fran
Episode 3 opens with Patrick the Pipe Bomber, still very much alive, keeping one eye on the halting site CCTV footage and the other on the telly.
Next we check up on Fran in prison, while Nidge goes over his plans to off him once more with some help from his men on the inside.
There are plenty of potential candidates, what with Noely Hughes (who memorably knocked out Fran’s tooth) and Pottsie (Aido’s brother) also in the clink.
2. Nadine flirts, Nidge glowers, and Pauley’s magic pills
Annoyed by Nidge’s request to have Pottsie whack Fran, Aido accepts an ecstasy tablet from Pauley, who is holding court at the Pappin once more.
Nidge spots Siobhán and Pauley canoodling in the pub and he’s RAGING.
Over at the Joy, Fran is preparing Chekov’s razor-toothbrush.
3. OGGIE OGGIE OGGIE
Using Aido’s mad-ourreveh-ness as cover, Nadine heads off home with another man. Aido is too busy dancing like this to notice.
Pauley and Siobhán are also in a heap and, in this week’s totes-awky-mo-mo sex scene, get busy in the bathroom at the Pappin. A disgusted Nidge tells Siobhán she’s a “f**kin’ disgrace” and well…
Taking the romance to the pub roof, Pauley encourages Siobhán to have another pill. Just what she needs!
Siobhán gets dangerously close to falling off the edge of the roof, but passes out at just the right time. Pauley makes a half-hearted attempt at waking her up, before keeling over himself. AIN’T LOVE GRAND.
4. Nidge takes some precautions, Elmo gets his gnomes
Nidge straps on a bulletproof vest (which he probably should have done about three episodes ago) and tells Trish about the plots to kill him. Trish is surprised, for some reason.
Pauley invites Elmo over to Siobhán’s gaff to instruct him on picking up the shipment of drugs from Terence Bigballs, which is hidden inside some garden gnomes. But the instructions are just a bit too complicated for Elmo:
Brown eyes, blue hat: gear. Blue eyes, blue hat: yokes. Now f**k off, I’m b*lloxed.
Redhats? Blue hats? No wonder Elmo was making this face the whole time.
But he seems pretty happy after Pauley agrees he can sell the ones that don’t have any gear in them. Elmo. A simple man.
Elmo sorts out his gnomes, and buries the gear and the yokes in a hole in the ground. Good idea? Probably not. This is Elmo we’re talking about.
Dean and Fran plot to take out Nidge, but Fran’s plan is foiled when Aido tails Dean – Nidge urges him to get Pottsie to act sooner rather than later.
Over at the Joy Fran senses something is up, and sure enough Chekov’s razor-toothbrush makes an appearance again when Pottsie and his mates jump him in his cell.
After a short but intense scuffle, Fran… gets Pottsie in the eye. We’ll spare you the gore.
Well, most of the gore – this bit of detail from the props department is just something else:
Fran is quickly patched up – he’s feeling sprightly enough to quip “You should see the other fella.” Cut to Pottsie wailing and covered in blood. Yup. We see him.
6. Aido gets a very questionable pizza
Still outside Dean’s house and in a post-yips craving, Aido sends his young henchman off for some ham and pineapple pizza. He (rightly) makes this face:
After scoffing a few slices, he and Elmo attack and kidnap Dean, bringing him to the stables where Elmo buried the goods.
7. Detective Moynihan and Siobhán have a cosy DMC*
*Deep and Meaningful Conversation**
Detective Moynihan tells her to stop messing around with Pauley. “It’s kinda f*cked up,” she says. NO WAY SIOBHÁN.
He’s right though, as Pauley spooks Siobhán by appearing at her house just after the meeting with the Gardaí. She says she was seeing Tommy, but Pauley is quite obviously suspicious.
8. Aido finds out about Pottsie’s eye
And Nidge again reveals his kind and gentle soul by offering up the line of the episode:
This lead to some lively discussion on Twitter as to how much an eye goes for these days.
There actually is a going rate, as we discovered:
9. Deano is a rat
All it takes is these magic words from Nidge:
There’s a silage pit around the back there filled with horses’ piss and sh*te. We’re going to f*ck you into it now.
Broken by the piss and sh*te (and probably the fear of death), Dean reveals that Noely Hughes is locked up with Fran.
Noely knocked out Fran’s tooth. So after that Fran dug up his ma’s grave, and pissed on it.
OH. Grand. So you could say he has a bone to pick with Fran, then? Of course, Nidge is delighted.
10. “Sometiiiiiimes, I feeeeeeeeel….”
The episode closes with the main characters attempting to get some sleep, while a woman sings the haunting refrain: “Sometiiiiimes I feeeeeeel like a moooootherless chiiiild…”
Patrick says his prayers. He’s probably going to need them.