AH MAMS.
They’re really the best at insults, aren’t they?
“He has a face only a mother could love.”
Because it’s too impolite to call a person “bad-looking” or “ugly,” Mams like to couch their insults in love. Namely a mother’s love.
“Is that what you’re wearing?”
There’s no need for Mams to actually criticise what you’re wearing. Just asking the question, “Is that what you’re wearing?” is enough to convey their disapproval and disappointment.
“Well I hope she gets the weather.”
This, my friends, is what we call ‘Mam shade’.
“Oh, she’s some weapon.”
The deadliest form of Mam shade.
“That fella is tighter than a fly’s arse.”
There are many variations on this, but the sentiment is the same: Mams don’t appreciate people who don’t spend money.
A cruel comment followed by a “God forgive me”
GOD WON’T ABSOLVE YOU OF YOUR GUILT, MAMMY.
“She has a face like a slapped arse.”
DAYUM.
Calling someone “sunshine”
That’s when you know s**t is getting real.
“Well, isn’t it well for her.”
Six little words and yet they convey so much. Someone’s going to Lanzarote? Well, isn’t it well for her. Your one’s daughter sees nothing wrong with spending money on manicures? Well isn’t it well for her.
A simple tut
Because sometimes words aren’t even necessary. Just a flash of the face or a tut will suffice. When that happens, you know your Mam has had enough.
