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Dublin: 17 °C Thursday 13 August, 2020

Everyone fell in love with the outrageous Mary on Alison Spittle's Nowhere Fast last night

“F**k him, we’re in his poxy pub, buying his mixers.”

now2 Source: RTÉ

ALISON SPITTLE’S MUCH-ANTICIPATED new RTÉ comedy Nowhere Fast debuted last night.

Spittle plays Angela – who is forced to move back to her hometown in the Midlands following an accidental on-air blunder at her radio job in Dublin that shuts down the station.

Soon after arriving home to her family, Angela’s two best friends Brid and Mary come over for dinner.

We quickly discover that Mary is ~quite~ the character

RTE2 Source: RTÉ 2

“Anyone want a can?”

RTE21 Source: RTÉ2

The idea is to hit town to celebrate the homecoming, and Mary has a plan:

“That football team isn’t going to f**k itself”

Source: RTÉ2/YouTube

Once the trio are in the local, we were introduced to Mary’s philosophy on shnaking booze into pubs:

“F**k him, we’re in his poxy pub, buying his mixers.”


“Mary is a legend” seemed to be the prevailing reaction to the opening episode – and the writing team of Spittle and Simon Mulholland is winning praise

Mary represented a little bit of us all

genuinely2 Source: @ItsOrna

Cans at the dinner table and saying the worst thing possible – every friend group has one

She was eventually caught for sneaking the drinks in after getting ratted out

RTE22 Source: RTÉ

But ended up getting the shift at the end

RTE23 Source: RTÉ

Onwards to next week’s shenanigans, then

some3 Source: @redgoose2012

A promising start.

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David Elkin

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